


R 5549 

T4 ; 

1755 ^ 

'opy 1 5 DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. <^^^ 

(Number 147.) 



THE 



OVERLAND ROUTE. 




A COMEDY, IN THREE ACTS. 



BY TOM TAYLOR, 

AOTHOB OF " AN TOEQUAL MATCH," " CONTESTED ELECTION," "PLOT AND 
PASSION," " HEAETS AND HANDS," " STILL WATEB BUNS DEEP. 



AS FIRST rERFORMED AT THE THEATRE ROTAL HAYMAR- 
KET, LONDON, APRIL, 1860. 



TO \rilI>II JJ-T. ADDED 

A description of the Costume— Cast of the Characters— Entrances and Exits- 
Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and 
the whole of tlie Stage Business. 




> > <»> < ^ 



4T: « la - 3 r It : 
ROBERT M. DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 
o> J\'o. 33 Rose Street. 




r FIRST I/OVli. A Comedy. In One Act. By L. J. Hollenius. Price 
iiOW I 15 Cents. 
JtEADY. I THERE'S 1\0 SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE. A Comedietta. In 
- One Act. By Thomas Picton. Price 1.5 Cents. 




%^¥B, 



4®=- These Plays will be sent to any address, postage paid, on receipt 
of price, Fifteen Cents each. 



PdsuslileR, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 



No, 

1. Caste. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Robert- 

son. 6 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

2. Nobody's Child. Dramatic Play. 3 Acts. 

By Watts Phillips, Esq. 18 Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

3. SIOO.OOO. By H. J. Byron, 8 Male, 4 Fe- 

male Character.s. 
i. Daadelion's Dodg^es. Farce. I Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 
6. IVilliam Xell ! "With a "Vengeance. 

Burlesque. 2 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 8 Male, 

2 Female Characters. 

6. Six Months Xgo. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix 

Dale. 2 Male, 1 Female Characters, 

7. Maud's Peril. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts 

Phillips. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

8. Henry Dunbar. Diama. 4 Acts. By Tom 

Taylor. 10 Male, 3 Female Characters, 

9. A Fearful Tfragedy in the Se-ven 

Dials. A Farcical Interlude. 1 Act. By 
Charles Selbs'. 4 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

10. The Snapping Turtles ; or. Matrimonial 

Masqueradinj?. Duologue, 1 Act, By Johu B, 
Buckstone, 1 Male, 1 Female Characters, 

11. IVoodcock's Little Came. Comedy 

Farce. 2 Acts, By Johu Maddison Morton, 
4 Male, 4 Ffnialc Characters. 

12. A 'Wido-.v *lunt. Comedy. 

tereil trum his own coniedv ot 
Friend.") By J. Stirling Coy] 
Female Characteis, 

13. Ruy Rlas. llomantic Dra 



3 Acts. (Al- 
Everybody's 
. 4 Male, 4 



4 Acts, 
ench of Victor Hugo. 12 Male, 
4 Female Characters. 

14. Rio Thoroughfare. Drama. 5 Acts and 

a Prologue. By Charles Dickens and Wilkie 
Collins. i:j Slale, 6 Female Characters. 

15. Milky "»Vhite, Domestic Drama. 2 Acts. 

By 11. T. Craven. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

16. Dearer than Life. Serio-comie Drama. 2 

Acts, By Henry J. Byron. 6 Male, 5 Female 
Characters. 

17. Kind to a Fault. Comedy. 2 Acts. By 

William Brough. G Male, 4 Female Characters. 

18. If I had a Thousand alTear. Farce. 

1 Act. By John Maddison Morton. 4 Male, 3 
Female Characters. 

19. He's a Lunatic. Farce. 1 Act. By Felix 

Dale, 3 Male, 2 Female Characters, 

20. Daddy Gray. Serio-comic Drama, 3 Acts, 

By Andrew Halliday. 8 Male, 4 Female 
Characters. 

21. Play. Comedy. 4 Acts. By T. W. Robert- 

son. 7 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

22. David Garrick. Comedy. 3 Acts. By 

T. W. Robertson. 8 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

23. The Petticoat Parliament. Extrava- 

ganza. 1 Act. By Mark Lemou. 15 Male, 24 
Female Characters. 
2'', Cabman Ko. 93; or. Found in a Four 
Wheeler. Farce, 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 
J Male, 2 Female Characters. 



The Droken-Hearted Club. Comedietta. 
By J. Stirling Coyne. 4 Male, S Female Char- 
acters. 

Society. Comedy. 3 Acts. By T. W. Rob- 
ertson. 16 Male, 5 Female Characters. 

Time and Tide. Drama. 3 Acts and a Pro- 
logue. By Henry Leslie. 7 Male, 5 Female 
Characters. 

A Happy Pair. Comedietta, 1 Act, By 
S. Theyre Smith. 1 Male, 1 Female Charac- 
ters. 

Turning the Tables. Farce. 1 Act. By 
John Poole, Esq. 6 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

The Goose v«-ith the Golden Fggs. 
Farce. 1 Act, By Messrs, Mayhew and Ed- 
wards, 6 Male, 3 Female Characters, 
. Taming a Tiger. Farce, 1 Act, 1 Male 
Characteis, 

The Little Ilebel. Farce, 1 Act. By 
J. Stirling Coi'ne. 4 Male, 3 Female Charats- 
tcr.'i.' 

One too Many for Him. Farce. 1 Act. 
By T. J. Williams. 2 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. 
. Larkin's Lo-ve Letters. Farce. 1 Act. 
By T. J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Female Charac- 
ters, 

A Silent Woman, Farce, 1 Act. By 
Thos. Hailes Lacey. 2 Male, 1 Female Charac- 
ters. 

Black Sheep. Drama. 3 Acts. By J, Pal- 
grave Simpson and Edmund Yates. 7 Male, 5 
Fenuile Characters. ^ ' 

A Silent Protector. Farce. 1 Act. By 
T. J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 Female Cliaracters, 

The Kightful Heir. Drama, 5 Acts. By 
Lord Lytton, 10 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

Master Jones' Birthday, Farce, 1 Act. 
By John Maddison Morton, 4 Male, 2 E«,male 
Characteis, 

Atchi. Comedietta, 1 Act. By J. Maddison 
Morton. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

Beautiful Forever. Farce. 1 Act. By 
Frederick Hay. 2 Male, 2 Female Characters, 

Time and the Hour. Drama. 6 Acts. 
By J, Palgrave Simpson and Felix iJale. 7 
Male, 3 Female Characters, 

Sisterly Service. Comedietta. 1 Act. 
By J. V. Wooler. 7 Male, 2 Female Characteis. 

"War to the Knife. Comedy. 3 ^cts. By 
Henry J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 Female Characters. 

Our Domestics. Comedy-Fared. 2 Acts. 
By Frederick Hay. S Male, 6 Female Char- 
acters. 
, Miriam's Crime. Drama. «> Acts. By 

H. T. Ciaven. 5 Male, 2 female Characters. 
, Easy Shaving. Farce. 1 Act. By P. C. 
Burnand and Montague Williams. 5 Male, 2 
Penmle CharactHrs. 
, Little Annle'n Birthday. Farce. Rj 
W. E. Suter. 2 Male, 4 Female C'.mractej'S. 



THE OYERLAID ROUTE. 



% €ami^^, 



IN THEEE ACTS. 



BY TOM TAYLOR 

Author of "An Unequal Match," " Contested Election," " Plot and Passion," " Bearta 
and Hands," " SUU Waters Run Deep," etc., etc. 



AS riEST PERFOEMED AT THE THEATEE EOTAL, HAYMARKET, 
LONDON, APEIL, 1860. 



10 WHICH ABB ADDED, 



A DESCRIPTION OP THE COSTUMES — CAST OF THE CHABACTEBS— KN- 

TBANCES AND EXITS RELATIVE POSITIONS OF. THE PER- 

FOBMEBS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



NEW YORK: 
ROBERT M. DE WITT, PTTBLISHER, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 

) O' 



THE OTEELAND KOTJTE. 



CAST OF 0HA, 







Theatre Royal, Uaymarket, 
London, April, 1860. 
Mr. Colepepper (Commissioner of '>t:/''^ // / 

Badgerypore District) .fi<M]jU\,.M.^LJu7....11lx. Clippendalb. 

Major McTurk (in charge of In- ' n /^ 

(valids) t^A-5C»<v3.^^^iT*/..Mr. Kogeks. 

Sir Solomon Fraser, K. C. B. (ex- 



.Mr. CoMPTON. 



.Mr. BtrcKSTONE. 



resident at several Native -^ ^ ff /_^ 

Courts) cU.JiX,-e>f^XV. 

Mr. liovibond (a Singapore Mer- o /^ ^ 

chant) /pMCy^XiMj^ 

Tom Dexter (an Adventurer) vW.<W«/;«Ky.-t-!^ Mr. Chakles Mathe-vits. 

Captain Smart (of the P. and O. _^ • ^ 

« Steamer, Simoon) ^.^^^on^%<uULAi-i . 

rirst Officer of theSi- -f (/ / n 

:^.^^.tJ7ir7Z7CiM^...;/i*lTi 

^ / 



CMr. Worrell. 



. . .Mr. E. YiLLiEKS. 



.Mr. Braid. 

Hardisty (First 
moon) . 

Captain Olavering (of the Com- 
mander-in-Chiefs Staff) 

Tottle (Hepid Stewad of the Si- -i/j u y/ j 

moon) .;{/.. .\\Al^MlVt^7:<^/. . Mr. Cullenford. 

Moleskin (a Detective) i^'lei^.eL.-Wi.aU. Mr. Clabe. 

Limpet (Sir Solomon' Man) &.cCi^t':-\^x^. Mr. Cob. 

Mrs. Sebright .jxUJ.^^<t..fdUc^.c^^i Mrs. Charles Mathews. 

Mrs. Lovibond ^T.Q>.-^^Xt^..j^.J^vi>nry.v7rs/. Miss Wilkins. 

Miss Colepepper. ..i3j4^^,oC^p/lnA^...«XC«<«/<£l/.'.... Miss Ternan. 

Mrs. Gvimwood (her Maid) /.O. /:<^..i,£lLMj . u Miss "Weekes. 

Mrs. Kabbits ^ >/. Cu^.dtUJj ..... Mrs. Griffiibs. 

Ayahs, Stewards, Lascars, Passengers, etc. 



SCENERY, Etc. 



ACT I. — Scene: The Saloon of the "Simoon" under the poop deck. A long 

I I .1 I 

Door. Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Table. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Door. 



Q»FT 

EST. OF J H. CORNING 
JUNE 20. 1940 



THE OVEULAXD EOUTB. 



cabin, lighted from a large skylight in the ceiling. The doors of the births are 
uniform in appearance, the upper panels closed with green Venetians. The sa- 
loon is handsomely decorated. Through the two doorways at the end, a view of the 
deck of the steamer. A table in the centre with seats round it. 
ACT II. — Scene: The poop deck of the " Simoon," towards evening; a tropical 



Staircase. 
....| I- 



Rail. ^ Staircase. 
1 I—. 




sunset sky ; an awning spread ; cabin skylight combings seen above the deck, with 
Beats round them ; seats at the gangways ; companion seen beyond the skylight. 
At the back, the rail bounding the poop deck, with openings for the staircases leads 
ing to the waist of the vessel. Lounging chairs disposed about. 
ACT HI.— Scene : A coral reef coming down to the edge of the sea, which is seen 



: Tent for 


• 


onoo 
OOOOO 
Barrels. 




: Women and • 

: Children. • : 




• Store 
• Tent. 


[][][] [] : 

Cases. : 

G : 


I r' "*' " 


") 


"• 


cnG : 
^nn : 

Cases. : 


: • 


QGong. 


1 


. ^ • 


: ~~ 


— , 







in flat. Rough tents i-igged out of spars and sails, e. and i.. That to the r. iathe 
tent occupied by the women and children ; it occupies three entrances. That to the 
I,., which projects so as to intercept part of the sea view, is the store tent. Barrels, 
cases, wine and beer bottles, and preserved meat cases are partially visible, piled 
about and imder it ; a gong hung on a spar near it, and a flag hoisted on a flagstaff. 



COSTUMES. 

Mk. Colepepper. — Suit of nankeen, with white jean vest ; low-cut shoes. 
Major McTukk.— Fatigue uniform coat, white panta and vest, the latter with gilt 
buttons. 



4 THE OTEKLAND EOtTTE. 

Bib Solomok Fraseh, K. C. B. — Eich India dressing gown, wMte vest and pants; 

low-cut shoes. 
Me. Lovibond. — 'White cotton night cap, and white flannel dressing gown. Second 

dress : Check pants and vest, linen ; light tweed coat. 
Tom Dexter. — Plain tweed travelling suit, light in material, dark in color. Second 

dress : Surgeon's uniform of P. and O. S. S. Company. 
Captain Smart.— Uniform of P. and O. S. S. Company. 
Habdisty. — Uniform of first officer of the P. and O. S. S. Company. 
Captain Clateeing.— Undress uniform of captain in Hon, E. I. Co.'s service. 
ToTTLE.— Steward's uniform of P. and O. S. S. Co. 
Moleskin. — Suit of dark blue nankeen. 

Limpet. — Suit of white linen. Second dress : Guernsey shirt, and red plush breeches. 
Mrs. Sebright. — Fashionable dress of handsome India sprigged muslin. 

Note. — In Act JII. the characters have different hats, caps, shoes, from those worn 
in Acts I. and II. ; and every article should have a careless and hap-bazard appear- 
ance. 'iFor Properties and Stage Directions see last page.] 



SYNOPSIS OF THE PLAY. 

As the title of this play indicates, the action of the piece brings out in strong 
relief the incidents of a voyage from India in an Orient^ steamship. Acts I. 
and //. occur on board the steamer ; Act HI. on a desolate coral reef. The piece 
has many capital and strongly defined characters. It is not possible to do any- 
thing like justice to the great merits of this play, either as regards plot or 
characters, by a brief sketch— but the following outline may give some general idea 
of the piece. Among the heterogeneous ingredients thrown together in the saloon of 
the steamship Simoon, are Mb. Colepeppbr (with an only daughter, and she was 
passing fair), a rich commissioaer ; Sir Solomon, a high India official ; Major Mc- 
Tdhk; a Captain Claveiiing, a staff-ofiiJer ; an attractive married lady, Mrs. Se- 
bright ; a dashing married lady, Mhs. Lovibond ; several ofiicers of the ship, and 
though last not least, Tom Dexter. Mr. Colepepper and Sir Solomon are both 
desperately in love with Mrs. Sebright, and each offer her very tempting inducements 
to bestow her hand upon him. The lady plays them as a skillful angler does a trout ; 
but keeps them well out in the stream. Meanwhile McTurk is quite as busy seek- 
ing to captivate Mes. Lovibond, who is equally tantalizing in her behavior. Mr. 
Colepeppeb's daughter all this time is ciosely attended by Captain Clavering, 
who appears to have won her confidence, though not her iiffcctions. This is the 
state of affairs when one Tom Dexter appears upon the scene. This individual 
(who en passant is a splendid character), suddenly appears amidst all this cooing and 
billing, upon the Captain's invitation, brought about in this manner: the ship's 
surgeon is stricken down with tever, but his place is more than filled by the volun- 
teer services of Tom Dexter, a steerage passenger, who, besides being a skillful 
medico, proves himself an able and considerate adviser and consoler. The Captain 
brings Tom into the cabin, inducts him into the sick doctor's place, and Tom, nothing 
loth, soon becomes the ruling spirit of the scene. He soon gives Mrs. Sebright to 
understand that her flirtations may not be so innocent as she deems them; makes 
Mrs. LoviBOSD mind her p's and q's; cuts the comb of Captain Clavbring; and 
brings to Miss Colepepper's recollection the fact that her life was saved during the 
Sepoy mutiny by a gentleman not unlike Tom Dexter. There is an under current 
of broad farce running through this piece. Mr. Lovibond had bought the ticket 
of a man accused of a felony, and had given the name corresponding to the ticket, 
a detective shadows him, and a variety of droll situations grow out of this queer 
misunderstanding. In Act III., when the whole party are thrown upon the desert 
reef, the lion's skin is dropped, and all the personages appear us they really are. 
Here Tom Dexter comes out strong, and finally through his skillful management, 
explanations, followed by reconciliations, take place, and everything is lovely. 



THE OVERLAND ROUTE. 



ACT I. 

• SCENE. — The saloon of the Simoon under the poop dec!:. 

As the curtain rises, Tottle and two steward's mates are seen dusting table 

and seats. 

Limpet {at door of cabin, No. 3, l.). Mr. Tottle ! 'Ow often am I to 
horder Sir Solomon's brandy and sodal 

Gkimwood [at door of cabin No. 2, E.). I've been a-calling for my young 
lady's tea this half hour ! 

Tottle. Aye, aye, miss. — Coming, Mr. Limpet. — Jackson, brandy and 
soda for No. 10- (Jackson is guing.) 

Grim. No , we're No. 10. It's tea we want. (Jackson returns ) 

Limpet. We're No. 6. \Exit Jackson, perplexed. 

Tot. Aye, aye, sir. Tea for No. 6, Smiles. (Smiles going.) 

1st Ayah (from cabin No. 4, l.). Missy wants doctor very bad, Tnassa 
steward. {^TAihzs pauses.) 

ToT. Aye, aye. Smiles, the doctor for No. 3, and look alive ! 

2nd Ayah (from cabin No. 4, r. Re-enter Jackson with soda and tea). 
Miss Polly Rabbits and Massa Charley very sick. Missy Rabbits' com- 
pliments, and hope de doctor send dem powders. 

Tot. Aye, aye. The doctor, No. 4, Jackson, directly. 

[Exit 3 kCKSo^. 

Hakdistt {putting in his head at entrance, r. c). Steward, bear a hand 
on deck here. 

Tot. Aye, aye, sir. Bless my heart ! Here's work for one head and 
the usual allowance of arms and legs. 

Limp. ^ all putting their ( Brandy and soda ! 

Grim. (_ heads out of ) Tea ! 

1st Ayah. T their cabins at "^ De doctor for missy ! 

2nd Ayah, j once. [^ De powders "for de babies ! 

Hard, {putting in his head again). Hilloa ! Saloon there ! 

ToT. {hastily gives Limpet the cup of tea and Geimwood the brandy and 
soda-water bottle). Aye, aye, sir! {rushes out, r. c.) 

Limp. ) Tea ! 1 ordered soda and brandy. 

Grim. ) Man — this ain't tea ! 

Limp, {coming forward with tea). Such attendance ! Here's your tea, 
Mrs. Grimwood, if 1 might trouble you for our soda and brandy. 

Grim. Really, Mr. Limpet, it's disgraceful. I do 'ope your master 
will write to the Times when we get 'ome. 

Limp. That you may rely on, Mrs. Grimwood ; if he don't make a rep- 
resentation to the guv'ment. Sir Solomon ain't used to this sort of 
thing. 



6 THE OYEELAND EOITIE. 

Grim. Nor us, neither, I can assure you, Mr. Limpet. What with 
Khitmagars, Chuprassees, and Punkahwallahs, we'd more servants up 
the country in Badgerypore, than we knew what to do with. 

Limp. Just like us. But, for all that, I shan't be sorry to be back in 
dear old Hengland, if I've to do for Sir Solomon all bj- myself for the 
rest of my born days. 

Grim. Nor me neither, Mr. Limpet. But, bless me, the tea's a-getting 
cold. 

Limp. And the soda-water's a-getting hot. 

Grim. Good morning, Mr. Limpet. [JExit into cabin No. 2, R. 

Limp. Good morning, Mrs. Grimwood. [Exit into cabin No. 3, l. 

Enter, from e. d. c. in flat, Capt. Smart, a telescope in his hand, and 
Haedisty, 

F Smart. Well, Hardisty, as we're clear of the straits, I shall turn in for 
the rest of the watch ; tell the second officer to look alive, and get the 
new passengers shaken down. 

Hard. What, with the sick and sorry, there's work for three doctors 
among 'em, let alone Kingston at his best ; and now he's regularly on 
his beam ends. 

Smart. What d'ye mean ? The doctor down ! Nothing serious I 
hope. 

Hard. I sent Tottle to inquire, sir. Here he comes. 

Enter Tottle, e. c. 

Smart. Well, Tottle; what's the report from the doctor 1 

Tot. The doctor's compliments, sir, and he's got the fever, sir ; and 
if the attack goes on all right, he ought to be delirious about eight bells. 

Smart. Delirioue ! And invalids on board, too ! Suppose it should 
spread. 

Hard. And the ship so crowded with those Aden passengers. 

Smart. By-the-bye, I've hardly overhauled the list yet, Tottle. 

Tot. Here it is, sir I was a-making out the dinner places, {produces 
list. Smart examines it.) 

Enter Moleskin, behind, r. c. 

There's one on 'em, sir — berth No. 2, there — by the name of Downy. 

Moleskin {aside). Holloa ! {listens.) 

Tot. 1 never see a man look so green. He said it was no use my put- 
ting him down, for his head was a-turniug round so he'd he sure to come 
up t'other side of the table. 

Mole, {com in ff forward). Poor Mr. Downy ! 

Smart. Downy, eh ? I remember ; he's a Singapore passenger, en- 
gaged his berth from Calcutta, but came aboard at Aden. 

Mole. Ah! 1 daresay he had some good reason ; which, did you say 
was his cabin ? 

Tot. {pointing). No. 2, sir. Had you any business with him 1 

Mole. Oh, dear, no ! I only asked from humanity. I'm sorry he's so 
near the stein. He'll feel the motion very badly, (aside) My man, as 
sure as a toucher ! (retires up and makes entries in a note-book, and strolls 

off, R. C.) 

Smart {to Hardisty). An inquisitive customer that— always poking 
his nose into everybody's concerns. But about this precious business 
of the doctor 1 



ACT I. 7 

Habd. Here's the major in charge of the invalids, sir. 
Enter Major McTukk, d. l. c. 

McTuRK { pom2ioiisly). Ah, Smart! Pleasant morning; a spanking 
breeze well on the quarter— she's doing ten knots. I've timed her. {pat- 
ronizingly to Haedisty) Good morning, Mr. Hardisty. 

Smart. How are j'our invalids, major ? 

McT. Oh ! the fellows are settling down comfortably enough. That 
doctor of yours is a smart hand. 

Smart {aside). Now for it. A capital oflScer, major. But even doctors 
can't always keep their own bills o health clean. 

McT. What do you mean ? Why he's hopping about the steerage 
like a sanitary inspector ; and there ke is fumigating, and airing, and 
Burnete-fluiding to say nothing of physicking. 

Smart {aside). The doctor must have been taken delirious at seven 
bells instead of eight. I'm very glad you're satisfied, major. 

McT. Why, the man's laugh is as good as a tonic. 

Smart. His laugh ! {aside) The doctor must be delirious ! Didn't it 
sound rather wild 'i 

McT. Wild ! not a bit of it. Clear as a bell, and collected as a word 
of command. I was so pleased with the fellow that I asked for his card, 
a thing one's not in the habit of doing with a medico, even in the ser- 
vice. Here it is {shows card) — Dexter — " T. Dexter, M. R. C. S." I 
said rather a good thing, apropos of the card. " Well, Mr. Dexter," 
I said, " you're well named, for a more dexterous practitioner I never 
came across." Dexterous— jou see. Ha, ha! Not bad was it, for an 
off-hand thing 1 

Smart. Capital ! {aside) Who the devil can this be, I wonder ? 

JEnter Mrs. Lovibond from her cabin, 1 e. l. 
McT. Ah ! Mrs. Lovibond I 

Smart converses aside with Tottle, who goes off. 

In full bloom like a rose with the morning dew on it. 

Mrs. L. Now, Major, how can you "? Good morning, Captain. Do 
you think I may venture on deck 7 You're sure those Lascars have 
done swabbing and swish-swishing about with those dreadful rope 
mops without handles 1 

Smart. Deck's as dry as a drawing-room, ma'am. 
• Mrs. L. Then, major, may I ask for your arm ? 

McT. {aside to her). Both of 'em, my dearest lady. 

Mrs. L. The motion of the vessel really so throws one on some kind 
of support. 

McT. The more it throws you on me, the better I shall like it. 

Mrs. L. Ah ! Major ! 

[Exeimt, coquettishly, leaning on the Major, l. d. f. 

Smart. That's a case, Hardisty. 

Hard. She's giving him a full broadside, sir, at all events. 

Smart. Astonishing how these widows knock over the military. But 
who can this extempore Doctor be, I wonder ? I sent Tottle to make 
him out. 

Enter Tottle, k. c. 

■^ Tot. It's all-right, sir. He's worth six of Dr. Kingston, any day ; why, 



8 THE OTEKXAND KOUrE. 

he makes his patients laugh on the right side o' their mouths, till tliey 
quite takes their physic with a happetite. 

Smart. I never heard of a regular doctor doing that, eh, Hardisty ? 

Tot. The women is a-blessing on him, right and left, and the babies — 
you'd think he'd served his time in a foundling hospital, to see the way 
he handles the little hinnocenLs. 

Smaut. Say Captain Smart wishes to see him aft, directly he's at 
liberty. 

Tot. Aye. aye, sir ! [Exit Tottle, e. c. 

Smart. Why, Hardisty, this is a regular god-send. 

Enter 1st Atah frmn cabin No. 4, l. 

1st Atah. Bless me ! I wonder where dat Doctor ; Mem Sahib want 
him ever so bad. 

Enter 2d Ayah from cabin No. 4, e. 



2d Atah. Tou just wait, please. Miss, till doctor come see my Missy 
babas. 

1st Atah. '^ all C (fOMi^M^tooMsZt/) Who your Missy baba ? 

2d Atah. > speaking < What your Mem Sahib, I like to know 1 

3d Atah. ) together (^ Oh ! Please, Captain Sahib. 

Smart. Silence ! you chattering blackbirds ! {exeunt Atahs, chattering 
into their respective cahinsi Just come into my cabin, Hardisty. What 
with Lascar crews, Madras parrots, and up country Ayahs, a fellow 
might as well sail Cantain of Noahs Ark, as a P. and 0. steamer. 

[Exeunt Haedistt and Smart, d. l. c. 

Enter 3d Ayau from cabin, 1 e. r., Mocks at Sir Solomon's cabin, 3 e, l., 
Limpet looks out. 

3d Atah. Missy Sebright's salaam to Burra Sahib Fraser, and she 'ope 
he gib her his arm on deck dis morning. 

Sir S. (within). Say I shall be happy. 

Limp. Sir Solomon will be hap 

Sir S. No. On second thought, Limpet, substitute for the word happy 
— the word de-lighted. 

Limp. Say Sir Solomon will be de-lighted. 

3d Ayah. I tell Mem Sahib. [Exit into cabin 1, e. b. 

Enter Sir Solomon f?-om cabin 3, b. l. attended by Limpet, carrying his 
pith-cap and umbrella. 

Sir S. Yon, Limpet, I dare say, would not perceive any great dis- 
tinction between the expressions — I shall be happy, and I shall be 
delij2,hted. 

Limp. No, Sir Solomon. If I might make bold, I should think it 
were about six o' one and half-a-dozen of the other. 

Sir S. [with a feeble laugh). He! he! he! There are a good many men 
in high diplomatic positions, not a bit more discriminating than you, 
Limpet. 

Limp. I dare say. Sir Solomon. 

Sir S. My solar topee, Limpet. (Limpit gives pith-hat) Have you con- 
sulted the thermometer this morning 1 
, Limp. Eighty in the shade. Sir Solomon. 

Sir S. In that case, my umbrella, Limpet. (Limpet gives it) One can- 



ACT I. 9 

not take too great precautions against exposing the brain to the sun. 
Limpet, the head is my weak point. 

Limp. I should think so, Kir Solomon, 

SiK S. When I say "the head," understand me, Limpet, I do not 
mean the head intellectually considered, but the material integument of 
the brain. Limpet, you appreciate the distinction ? - 

Limp. You mean the skull. Sir Solomon? 

S114 S. Precisely. My skull is thin. Limpet — all highly organized 
skulls are thin, — yours is thick, Limpet; you are not highly organized. 

Limp. No, I'm only a tliick-headed Limpet. [Uxit Limpet, 3 e. l. 

Ilnter Mr. Colbfeffer froin his cabin, 3d e. e. 

Cole, {comes forward'). Good morning. Sir Solomon. 

Sir S. Ah ! Mr, Colepepper ! stirring so early ^ Arn't you afraid of 
the morning air ? 

Cole. No, sir ; nor the moi'ning sun neither, and that's more than you 
can say, to judge by your precautions, [pointing topith-hat and umbrella.) 

Sir S. 1 have still a constitution to preserve, Mr. Colepepper. 

Cole And I have one, sir, that doesn't require preservation. It's 
above proof, sir, — tried in thirty years of hard woik — cold weather and 
hot — kutchery and jungle— hunting-field and up-country station — not 
dozing and dangling in lazy luxurious native courts — ^like some people 
with nothing harder to do than to nod at a nautch — or to take the air on 
an elepliant houdah. 

Sir S. Diplomatic life, too, has its fatigue, Mr. Colepepper. 

Cole. I daresay. It must be hard work to keep down yawns, and to 
keep up appearances. 

Sir S You forget the delicate negotiations to conduct. 
. Cole. As the fly on the coach wheel conducts the carriage 

Sir S. And the dispatches to be written 

Cole. From the draft of a private secretary. No, no, Sir Solomon. 
Don't tell an old civil servant. European diplomacy's a corned j"^, but 
Indian diplomacy's a farce very ill acted, and very well paid for. But 
I'm wasting my morning, i^gocs to cabin, 1 r. e., and knocks) Ayah, tell 
Mrs. Sebright Mr. Colepepper is ready to give her his arm on deck. 

Sir S. (aside). The imjjertinent old interloper ! I regret, Mr. Cole- 
pepper, that Mrs. Sebright has already engaged me as her escort. 

Cole. That was before she knew she could command my services. 

Sir S. That you will allow the lady to decide. Here she comes ! 

Hn'er Mrs. Sebright, 1st cabin, r. 

Mrs. Sebright. Ah ! Sir Solomon ! and Mr. Colepepper, too ! Was 
ever a poor little woman so well guarded ? Two doughty squires at my 
beck. (Mr. Colepepper takes off his cap and boivs ; Sib Solomon does the 
same, embarrassed ivith his hal, stick, and umbrella) Tlie one armed cap-a- 
pie, the other cap-a-pluie. 

Sir S. i f Mrs Sebright will accept my escort 

Cole. My arm is always at your service. 

Mrs. S. Oh! bless you ! I want nobody's arm— not! — I fancy I've 
the best sea legs of the three. It would be a positive sin to disappoint 
either of such preux chevaliers. So, Mr, Colepepper, if you would just 
run to my cabin and tell ray Ayah to give you the novel that's on my 
dressing-table, (Col 1 pepper is going) and my shawl, Mr. Colepepper — 
and the footstool, please, [Exit Colepeppbr, into the cabin. 



10 THE OVERLAND EOTJTE. 

Sir S. And now, Mrs. Sebright, that we're relieved of the old Commis- 
sioner — {offers Ms arm.^ 

Mks. S. Dear, dear, what a head I have ! Not the gray shawl ! Tell 
the Ayah, Sir Solomon, the white one. And my poor dear little love 
birds, Sir Solomon — ttieyll be dyinc; for want of fresh air. 

[Exit Sir Solomon, No. 1, r., reluctantly. 

Re-enter Colepeppek, with novel, shawl, and /ootstool. 

Oh ! how very good you are ! [taking the things.') 

Cole, {aside). She's got rid of Fraser ; now, my dear madam — {endeav- 
ors to offer his arm.) 

Re-enter Sir Solomox, with a load of shawls, cushion, and birdcage, etc. 

{aside) Here's that puppy back again ! 

Mrs.'S. Sir Solomon, I'm positively ashamed to see you so loaded — 
and Mr. Colepepper, too But you both offered me your arms, you know 
— and as I don't want 'em for myself — the least I can do is to use 'em for 
my little comforts — and when I'm snugly ensconced in a shady corner, 
Sir Solomon shall read to me. Won't you, dear Sir Solomon ? 

Sir S. With pleasure, my dear madam, if it won't bore Mr. Colepep- 
per. {aside) That ass Colepepper hates listening. 

Mrs. S. And Mr. Colepepper shall point out to me all the objects of 
interest on the coast. Won't you, dear Mr. Colepepper 1 

Cole. I shall be delighted, my dear Mrs. Sebright — if it won't inter- 
rupt Sir Solomon's reading, {aside) That puppy Fraser hates not being 
listened to ! 

Mrs. S. What a pleasant trio we shall be, to be sure ! our little party 
will be the only one^ aboard the Simoon without any jealousy or heart- 
burning, eh, Mr. Colepepper ] Quite a happy family — shan't we Sir 
Solomon ? With poor me to play the part of the white cat. (going.) 

Sir S. {aside, following her). Colepepper for the wizened old monkey ! 

Cole, (following). And Sir Solomon for the jackdaw, {they pass up to k. 
c. D., leading to deck. As Siu Solomon and Colepepper try to pass out at 
the same door theyjcstle. Dexteii appears and attempts to enter.) 
: Dexter. Holloa ! one at a time, gentlemen 1 {the two separate and go 
off. Mrs. Sebright, Colepepper, Sir BojjOuos, following, d. l. c, in fiat.) 

Dkx. {comes down). A well-laden pair of pack asses— with Jenny Se- 
bright, like the little bell mare, trotting on ahead. Catch her carrying 
anything ! Sir Solomon Fraser and Colepepper, too, none of the tiio 
recognized me ! How would honest Jack Sebright like to see his •' little 
woman," as he calls her, making a fool of these two old fogies, that 
ought to know better. Ah, Mary Colepepper ! if Tom Dexter had a 
good coat on his back, and a saloon berth instead of a steerage one, he 
might be making a beast of burden of himself at your heels, as these old 
boys are at saucy Jenny Sebright's. 

Unter Smart and Rardisty, from cabin, e. e. 

Oh ! here's the captain ! {touches his cap, sailor-fashion) Well, captain, you 
passed the word for me ? 

Smart Oh ! You're Mr. Dexter t 

Dex. Yes. (jumps on the table and sits.) 

Smart. Won't you take a chair ? 

Dex. I prefer the table— I hke to swing my legs. 



ACT I, 11 

Smart. I've to thank you, it seems, for taking iny surgeon's duty 
among the steerage passengers. 

Dex. Why, as they were patients without a doctor, and I was a doctor 
without patients. Here s my diploma — you see — licensed to drug, dose, 
and draw teeth secundum artems, and the London pharmacopoeia ! Don't 
be afraid ! If anybody dies under my hand it won't be murder, but 
justifiable homicide — by medical misadventure. 

Smart. Excuse me. But we don't often find professional gentlemen 
in the steerage. 

Dex. Oh! I'm used to roughing it! Come, I see you're curious to 
know how a smart, good-looking, well-educated young fellow like me 
comes into this plight, {showing his threadbare coat sleeve') Question and 
answer's slow work ! I'll run my story right off the reel like a log line. 

SMAiiT. Heave a-head ! 

©EX. I was educated for a doctor. But the practice isn't so easy to 
come at as the profession. As I had a fancy for the pen as well as the 
lancet, I took to scribbling, for want of patients — but 1 soon got tired 
of penny-a-lining, and shipped as surgeon aboard a Guinea trader. 
There 1 mastered the African fever, both as doctor and patient — got a 
sickener of Kroomen, palm oil, and mangrove swamps, and took a doc- 
tor's berth in one of Green's India ships. Left her at Kurrachee for a 
run up the country. Fell in with the Nawaub of Ramshacklegur, just 
as he was suffering from an awful indigestion of prawn-curry, and phy- 
sicked myself into his favor. The Nawaub was a capital fellow, but 
he had an awkward knack of poisoning his wives when he was tired of 
them, and they very naturally were inclined to return the compliment. 
As I wouldn't agree to help the gentlemen to poison the ladies, or the 
ladies to poison the gentleman, of course both parties quarrelled with 
me, so I had to bolt into British territory to save my bacon. Then I 
had a shy at all sorts of things — started a hydropathic establishment at 
Simla, and made money — invested it in an indigo plantation in Behar, 
and lost it— till, somehow or other, I one day found myself installed as 
editor and proprietor of a paper at Badgerypore. " The Mild Hindoo," 
I called it — I hoped to succeed by sticking to truth and writing like a 
gentleman — but I soon found that wasn't the line for an Indian editor. 
My subscribers wanted their articles like their dinners, all capsicum 
and curry-powder. Just as I was thinking of cutting the concern, out 
broke the mutiny, and the concern cut me. My presses were smashed, 
my type cast into bullets ; my back stock cut up for wadding — some of 
my articles must have had an uncommonly wide circulation in that form 
— and I had to run for my life ? I disguised myself as a Fakir — buff 
and wood ashes — and doctored my way down to Calcutta, where I soon 
picked up enough to pay my passage home — and here I am. 

Smart {shakes hands with him). By George, sir ! I like a fellow who 
can take his life in his fist, as you've done — and none the worse if he 
bring a kind heart out of the tussle. My doctor's on the sick list. Will 
you take his place for the run to Suez 1 I'll enter you on the ship's 
books and give you berth aft 7 

Dex. I'm your man ! My traps won't take much shifting. About 
my outfit, though 1 {looking at his coat) Seedy, ain't it 1 I've some old 
acquaintances aft here. 

Smart. Never fear. We'll new rig you among us. Eh, Hardisty 1 

Hard. You're welcome to auything in my chest. 

Dex. Spoken like a man and a brother ! 

filter Captain Clavering, d. p. c. He goes to Miss Coi^epepper's cabin, 
(in(i knocks, 2 e. k. 



12 THE OVEELAND KOUTE. 

Oh ! I've seen that face before. To be sure ; it's Clavering— one of 
my old Simla acquaintances. 

Claveking at Miss CoiiEPEPPEE's eahin. 

Clavek. Miss Colepepper, your father has sent me to beg you'll come 
on deck. They've cau<;ht a shark. 

Smart {to Haudistt). Jump up, Hardisty,and see none of the people 
get their legs broken skylarking with the brute's tail. 

\Bxit Hardistt, d. r. c. 

Dex. {coming towards Clavering). Captain Clavering, I think 1 

Claver. {coldly and insolently ). Ya — a — a — s, {staring at him.) 

Dex. You ought to remember me. 

Claver. Ought 11 I don't though, {turns on his heel.') 

Enter Miss Colepepper, d. 2 e. r. 

Miss C. I'm quite ready, {sees Dexter and recognizes him but half 
doubtfully ) 

Dux. Yes, Miss Colepepper, you're quite right ; it is your old Badg- 
erypore acquaintance. 

Miss C. Mr. Dexter ! I did not know you were on board ; we have 
not seen you in the saloon. 

Dex. No ! I'm in the steerage. 

Claver. Captain Smart, I didn't know steerage passengers were ad- 
mitted to the saloon. 

Smart. This gentleman is one of my officers from to-day, Captain 
Clavering; and my officers are company for my passengers. 

Claver. Ah! 1 say, Miss Colepepper, if you've any curiosity about 
the shark — {goes up.) 

Miss C. Oh, yes,— (to Dextek) — Mr. Dexter — [embarassed) — I am very 
glad to have met yea ; I'm sure my father will have pleasure in renew- 
ing his acquaintance. 

Dex. I don't think so or he'd not have left me to kick my heels among 
the Syces and Chuprassies under the verandah when I called at your 
house in Calcutta. 

Claver, I say. Miss Colepepper, if you don't come the shark will be 
quite cup up. {up stage.) \ 

Dex. Pray, go ; neither sharks nor staff-officers ought to be kept 
waiting. 

Miss C. Come, Captain Clavering ; I'm very sorry, Mr. Dexter. 

[Uxeunt Miss Colepepper and Captain Clavering, d. e. 

Smaet. Hang these young puppies of soldiers ! 

Dex. Never mind, Captain ; give me five minutes to freshen his 
memory, and I'll make this youngster civil enougl), I'll answer for it. 
Come along ; only let me mount the P. and 0. uniform. No man ever 
yet did justice to himself in a coat out at elbows. 

[Hzii Dexter and Smart, e. c. d. 

Enter 'Mrs. Sebright and Mes. Lovieond, l. c. d. 

Mrs. S. (r.). No. I can't stand it. Catching the shark was all very 
good fun, but cutting him up — oh ! 

Mrs. L. (l.). Ah ! Only think, my dear Mrs. Sebright, what that 
odious Mrs. Chatterly said of you just now ] 

Mrs. S. What did she say 'I 

Mrs. L. That you had a natural sympathy with hooking^— 



ACT I. 13 

Mks. S. I'm very much oMiged to her, poor dear ! I've heard that 
sharks will take any bait. But 1 don't think Mrs. Chatterly would 
attract even a shark I 

Mrs. L. a mere scrag of a woman, isn't she 1 

Mrs. S. Yes, like all Maypoles, can't bear anybody with a figure! 
Perhaps you heard that spiteful question she asked Captain Smart about 
you at dinner, yesterday — " whether Mrs. Lovibond paid for tivo 
berths v' 

Mrs. L. Ah, my dear, people will say ill-natured things. 

Mrs. S. And people will be so good natured in repeating 'em. 

Mrs. L. It's a duty one owes one's friends — especially aboard ship! 
I assure you if I were to repeat half of what I lieard said of you 

Mrs. S. Do pray let me hear I 1 do so delight in candid^criticism 1 

Mrs. L. Then — they say you're a dreadful flirt — and that you're try- 
ing to get two strings to your bow — Sir Solomon and Mr. Colepepper. 
But tharairaing at two birds generally succeeds in bagging neithei". 

Mrs. S. Now, only think how spiteful some people are. They say t/ou 
would be gl*d of my leavings. 

Mrs L. Oh ! no, my dear. I have no ambition to have a pompous 
old fool like Sir Solomon, or a positive sexagenarian like Mr. Colepepper. 
Really, my dear, — if 1 might take the liberty of a friend 

Mrs. S. Do — pray do. If one's friends can't take liberties, who is to 
do it 1 

Mrs. L. I should advise you to be a leetle more on your guard — not to 
walk on deck quite so late in the evening — to be a leetle less demonstra- 
tive at dinner, und not to insist upon quite so many attentions from 
quite so many gentlemen. It makes other women jealous, you know. 
Not that 1 feel anything of the kind. 

Mrs. S. Oh, dear, no ! I'm sure, my dear Mrs. Lovibond, you must 
be quite satisfied with your monopoly of the major. So pleasant, after 
all the trouble you've had I 

Mrs. L. Trouble, my love 1 

Mrs. S. In bringing such a stubborn wretch to your feet— in spite of 
bK his resistance. I'm so glad you've succeeded! for I like you very 
much, you know. 

Mrs. L. Not half so much as I like you. 

Mrs. S. Never thought I could have been as fond of one so much 
older than myself. 

Mrs. L. I assure you, I'm quite astonished to find myself overlooking 
in your case ; so much that most people would call giddiness — if not levity. 

Mrs. S. You are too kind, I'm sure, with the help of ^o««/- experience. 

Mrs. L. Oh ! I'm afraid I must go to school to yoic — though you may 
be a year or two my junior. 

Mrs. S. D^ar me ! is it possible you're only twenty-seven ? How the 
Indian climate does tell on the constitution ! 

Mrs. L. It has one quality to recommend it to some people. . It 
makes a great many young widows. By-the-bye, do you know I've 
heard some censorious people on board wonder you don't wear youi; 
weeds. 

Mrs S. How very odd! I've been bored to death with questions 
about the late Mr. Lovibond, {confusion heard without, and cry, " man 
overboard."') 

Mrs. L "What's that ? Oh ! gracious ! 

Mrs. S. A man overboard !- 

Bnter Capt. Claveeing, b. d. c, supporting Miss Colepepper, who is 



14 THE OVERLAND KOUTE. 

Claver. Ya — as -a fellow tumbled from the main yard, and Miss 
Colepepper went off as if she'd been shot. 

Mks. B. We'll attend to her. You run and learn the fate of the poor 
sailor. 

Claver. I suppose the fellow can swim 1 Of course, everybody can 
swim. But 1 11 let you know. [Exit, r. d. c. 

Miss C. (remvwff). Stay ! Harry — Captain Clavering. Oh, if he 
should risk his life to save the drowning man. 

Mrs. S. I don't think he looks the least like it, my dear. («•«/ without 
— "He's in — Huzza — hnzzay) 

Mrs. L. Hark! a splash! Somebody has jumped in ! Oh! who is it 1 

Enter Tottle, r. d. 

Tot. One of the officers ! Where's the brandy ? 

[Exit, getting brandy bottle off c. tahle. 

Miss C. The officers ! Should it be Clavering ! 

Mrs. L. Oh ! if it were my Hector! {cries, ".He's got himV " JSe's 
dvwn /" " No ! here he is ! ") 

Mrs. S. I'm very sorry — ^but I can't get up the slightest excitement. 
I'm certain it isn't Sir Solomon or Mr. Colepepper ! 

Miss C. This suspense is agony ! [sinks into a seat.) 

Mrs. L. Oh ! I cant bear it ! {imitating Miss Colepepper.) 

Mrs. S. Mind ! It's no use you both fainting. I can only attend to 
one at a time ! {cries without — ^'Muzza — huzza.^') 

Enter Major McTukk, l. c. d. 

Mrs. S. (screams.) 

McT. Clarinda ! Don't be alarmed, ladies. I've saved 'em. 

Miss C. Yov!r1 

Mrs. L. I knew he had ! Oh ! my noble Hector ! {rushes into his arms.) 

Miss C. Then it wasn't Captain Clavering 1 

McT. Clavering ! Pooh! Before he had got his eyeglass screwed to 
a focus, 1 had rushed to the stern— sprang to the taffrail 

Mrs. L. Precipitated yourself into the sea 1 

McT. No ; not myself — the lifebuoy. They said they didn't want it ! 
I knew better ! 

Miss C. They— who 1 

McT. Why, the man who fell overboard, and the fellow who went in 
after him 

Mrs. S. Oh, then, there was somebody who threw himself into the 
sea, instead of the lifebuoy. 

McT. Yes. Saw him go in from the main chains. A shabby genteel 
person — looked like a steerage passenger. 

Miss C. And you don't know his name ' 

McT. Haven't the slightest idea ! 

Miss C. Shabby genteel heroism, it seems, must be content to be 
anonymov^. 

Enter Sir Solomon, r. h. d., doion r. of Mrs. Sebright. 

Mns. S. But we heard it was one of the officers. 

Sir S. One of the ship's officers, ladies. If they had only listened to 
me, I recommended flinging spars to leeward, or bringing up the ship 
in the wind and lowering a, boat, at the same time pointing out to the 
captain the Company's repvehensible neglect in not having the vessel 



Acr I. 15 

furnished with Clifford's patent boat lowering apparatus, which I shall 
feel it my duty to represent in the proper quarter. 

Mrs. S. And while you were talking this hasty person actually jumped 
overboard 1 

Sir S. In the most reckless manner! and so risked two lives instead 
of one. 

Enter Dexter, l. h. d., in uniform. 

Dex. {dawn l. of Mrs. Sebright). It's all right, ladies. The man's 
come to — thanks to hot gruel and blankets. 

Miss C. And his gallant preserver? 

Dex. Oh ! he's none the worse for his ducking. 

Miss C. But his name? 

MgT. If you insist on knowing, I can send my orderly to inquire in 
the steer^cfe ] 

Dex. You may save yourself the trouble. Major. It was I jumped 
after the man. 

Miss C. You, Mr. Dexter 1 

Sir S. Dexter — Dexter — I know that name I think. 

Dex. I was medicul adviser to the Nawaub of Ramshecklegur, while 
you were resident at his court. Sir Solomon. 

Sir S. To be sure ! Let me tell you, sir, your jumping overboard was 
a very rash and reprehensible act ! If you had only reflected 

Dkx. The man would have been drowned. 

McT. Ah ! if it hadn't been for the lifebuoy which I flung over 

Dex. Which I didn't avail myself of. Much obliged to you, all the 
same ! 

Sir S. {aside). Colepepper's engaged with the shark. Mrs. Sebright, 
{offering his arm, wp r.) we're just passing Mocha. If you would like to 
know the statistics of our coffee trade with that region? 

Mrs. S. {takes his arm). Oh ! delightful ! I do so thirst for useful in- 
formation ! 

[Exit, E. c, Mrs. Sebright and Sir Solomos, arm in arm. 

Mrs. L. {aside). Especially from a K. C B. 

McT. {to Mrs. LoviBONn). Suppose we take a turn on deck! I have 
something very particular to communicate. 

Mrs. L. With pleasure. Major ! Your conversation is always so in- 
structive. 

McT. You are such a little flatterer. 

[Exit Mrs. Lovibond, d. c. l., and the Major. 

Dex. (l. c.). Now we're alone, Miss Colepepper, let me hand over 
something of yours — which I have not had an earlier opportunity of re- 
turning. ( gives bracelet. ) 

Miss C. The bracelet I lost that dreadful night the mutineers broke 
into our bungalow. The last thing I remember was a huge sowar — 
tearing it from my arm. How did you recover it ? 

Dex. Oh, the fellow was cut down. I picked up his booty as we car- 
ried you into the compound. 

Miss C. Then you were there ! — you saved me I 

Enter Claveeing, r. h. d., down k. 

Miss C Captain Clavering, I have at last discovered my preserver 
from the mutineers. 

Claver. Indeed! 

Miss. C. Let me introduce you to him. Mr. Dexter, Captain Claver- 
ing, {goes up — -.Clavering bows haughtily.') 



16 THE OVEELAND EOIJXE. 

Dex. T think Captain Clavering and I have met already. 

Clavek. I really can't remember it. 

Dex. Can't you 1 It was at a whist party in the club-room, at Simla. 
The night of the 16th of August. You may remember, there was a 
little row about a missing 

Claver. (embarrassed). Ah — yes — I recall you perfectly now — Mr. Dex- 
ter, how do you doV — I am very glad to renew an acquaintance 
which 

Dex. Begun so very pleasantly. 

Miss C. I must find my father, Captain Clavering ; I want to tell him 
what we owe Mr. Dexter. 

Dex. Pray oblige me by saying nothing about it. Like most English- 
men in the mutiny, I did my duty ; but I really don't deserve any credit 
for it. 

Miss C. (aside). As modest as he is brave. I will respect your gen- 
erous wish, Mr. Dexter. 

Claver. I hope you and I shall often meet, Mr. Dexter — it will give 
me the greatest pleasure, (aside) Confound his brazen face ! 

[Exeunt Miss Coleprppek and Captain Clavkking, r. c, to the decJc. 

Dex. There's one swell brought to his bearings for the rest of the 
voyage. IV s possible the captain might have known nothing about that 
missing card — but when a fellow holds three honors for four deals Tun- 
ing, and has a trick of turning up aces 

Mzier Captain Smart, e. h. c. 

Smart. You're wanted, Doctor, in the forjecastle. The man you 
saved insists on thanking you. 

Dex. I'm glad he doesn't consider my jumping after him so very rash ■"■ 
and reprehensible. He isn't a diplomatise. 

Hxeunt Dexter and Smart, d. r. c. 

Enter Mrs. Lovibond, d. l. c, sits in chair, l. c. 

Mrs. L. a declaration from the Major at last ! I've been expecting it 
all the way from Madras — and yet, when it does come, how it flutters 
one! Three hundred a year, besides his pay. The man is a 1 ttle 
pompous certainly, and not handsome. But then one has no rigbt to 
be particular after thirty. I've asked time to consider his offer. First, am 
I a widow? I've every reason to think so. I have passed for one dui- 
iog the time I have been in India. It's now ten years since Mr. Lovi- 
bond left me, and since then no news of him but this melancholy letter. '^ 
(takes out a tvorn letter) How often I've re-read it—" Clarinda — Meek as I 
am — much as I have loved you — I write this to bid you farewell forever. 
J f you should hear of an inquest on my remains, know that it is your 
jealousy and imperious disposition which have brought me to an un- 
timelj' end. If ever you marry aeain, may you treat your seftond hus- 
band better than you have treated your long suffering, but to the last 
affectionate — Augustus." No date — a black edged envelope and the 
Dover postmark. I never <?««? hear of an inquest -but I have always, 
had poor Lovibond's untimely end upon my conscience. Let me en- 
deavor to exjjiaie my harshness to him by being all meekness and in- 
dulgence to his successor. I certainly do not feel that ardent attach- 
ment for the Major which young women think necessary for marriage. 
But do I care for him enough to make him happy 1 and myself, too, for 
that matter. That's a point I must settle, after mnture deliberation — 
face to face with my dressing glass. [Exit into her cabin, e. i. 



ACT I. 17 

Mrs. R. {speaking to Ayah at the door of cabin, tt. e. r.). Eemember, 
Sabrina — you will insist ou the doctor coraiug to my babies directly. 
2d Ayah. Yess, Missy Rabbits. [Uxil, e. c. 

He-enter Mrs. Rabbits, into cabin 4, e. r. Unter Sir Solomon and Mrs. 
Sebright, d. l. c. 

Mrs. S. (l.). And so these are really the waters where pearls come 
from ? 

Sir S. (e.)- Yes. The trade is a considerable one — employs — let me 
see — about 10,000 tons of small craft and a capital of 

Mrs. S. Oh, I don't mind«the figures. It's the lovely pearls I'm inter- 
ested about ! How I should like a handsome young diver to fish me up 
the finest set ever seen — bracelets, brooch, and bandeau — representing 
not so ra«ny pounds paid — but so many risks of life and limb — and all 
defied for me ! 

Sir S. But why sigh for pearls — when diamonds are within your 
reach 'I 

Mrs. S. Diamonds, Sir Solomon 1 

Sir S. Yes. I flatter myself that Lady Eraser's diamonds will make 
a sensation at the drawing-room. What do you think of this as a speci- 
men ■? [produces case and shows diamond necklace.) 

Mrs. S. Oh ! what a love of a necklace ! 

Sir S. And what a necklace for a love — for mp love, my dear Mrs. 
Sebright— for you, if you will but say one little word ! {she is going to re- 
turn the case) No ; don't pain me by refusing 'em. 

Mrs S. But, Sir Solomon 

Sir S. I leave you till this evening to consider your ultimatum. Haste 
is always undesirable — whether in love or diplomacy (aside) There — !■ 
flatter myself that clinches old Colepepper. [Exit, r. c. 

Mrs. S. To have been within an ace of a title and diamonds like these; 
Oh, dear — oh, dear! If only I weren t married already. John Se- 
bright never gave me any diamonds ! And I should look so well in 'em, 
I'm sure — ( puts them round her arm and turns it admiringly) The very things 
for my complexion. 

Enter Dexter, d. l. c. 

I suppose Sir Solomon don't mean me to keep them — unless I take 
him into the bargain. To think fhe pompous, empty-headed creature 
• should be allowed to tempt poor spinsters into his toils with such baits 
as these ! Oh! you" beauties I {examines them in various lights.) 

Dkx. {aside). Hollo ! Why that's the identical necklace the Begum 
of Ramshacklegur offered me to poison the Nawaub ! How can she have 
come by it ! [coming forward) Magnificent ! 

Mrs. S. Oh, sir, you quite startled me ! 

Dex. I don't wonder at your being absorbed. I would recommend 
you not to show it on board, {points to necklace) or I wouldn't answer for 
your life among so many ladies. 

Mrs. S. Oh, the necklace isn't mine! That is — if I can persuade Sir 
Solomon to take it back. 

Dex. Sir Solomon — oh, ho — I'll save you all trouble on that point. 
{takes it out of her hand aa^d pockets it.) 

Mrs. S. [of ended). Really, sir ! This liberty from a perfect stranger. 

Dex. Perhaps, to you; but, as an old friend of John Sebright's, I 
mustn't allow John Sebright's wife to expose herself to misconstruction. 

Mrs. S. a friend of my husband's ! Oh, sir !— how strange you must 
have thought it to see me passing as a widow ! 



18 THE OVEEIAKJ) KOUTE. 

Dex. Well — I don't think my friena John would quite like it. 

Mrs. S. Oh, yes, he would ! He always likes to see his little woman 
petted. You know, a prudent married woman without her husband has 
no chance aboard these horrid P. and 0. boats ! But a widow's always 
sure of attentions. Mind — I never said I was one — please don't betray 
me, Mr. Dexter. It's only till we reach Suez — there I'm to meet Jack 
— and I shan't want any attentions after that. Bless him ! 

Dex. Attentions are one thing — diamonds are another. I shall re- 
turn these to Sir Solomon. 

Mrs. S. I'm afraid he'll be very angry. 

Dex. Ill pacify him. 

Mrs. S. But what shall I say when he comes for his answer and his 
necklace 1 

Dex. For his necklace refer him to me. For his answer — say tnat 
you've a husband already — one of the best fellows in the world, and that 
you're heartily ashamed of yourself for not having told him so ten days 
ago. 

Mrs. S. Oh, dear — oh, dear — I shall look so ridiculous ! 

Dex. If you don't like telMng the truth, you must invent fibs for your- 
self — only remember there's a friend of John Sebright's on board to 
look after John Sebright's wife. 

Mrs. S. John Sebright's wife will look after herself, Mr. Dexter ! 
(^crosses to l. ) 

Dex. Bravo ! I like that little bit of flare-up better than anything 
you've said yet ! Excuse me — I've some patients to attend to. 

[Uxit into Mrs. Rabbits' cabin, k., No. 4. 

Mrs. S. Patients, indeed! He shan't find me among his patients, I 
can tell him ! How dare he talk in that way ! as if I were behaving in 
a manner my dear Jack wouldn't approve ! What barm can there be in 
accepting all the attentions one can get ? Aboard ship, too, where 
everybody's so selfish ! If he weren't a man, I might be suie it must be 
all jealousy — but he doesn't care for me! He can't be jealous. It's 
provoking to be so misconstrued — and by a friend of dear Jack's, too — 
shall 1 do as he told me I Tell Sir Solomon and Mr. Colepepper that I'm 
a married woman ? They'll say I've made fools of them both. I shall 
be talked about all over the ship — and if I say nothing about my hus- 
band, when Jack meets mo at Suez who knows what people may tell 
7iim ! Oh ! I wish I had never allowed anybody to pay me any atten- 
tions ! I wish I had bored everybody to death about my husband the 
first day I came on board. I wish — I wish - {passio7iately) — Oh, I wish 
I were at the bottom of the sea ! [Exit into her cabin; 1, e. r. 

LoviBONn {from his cabin. No. 2, l.). Steward ! steward ! 1 say, stew- 
ard ! {the door of Lovibond's cabin, 2, e l., opens, and Lovibond looks has- 
tily out. He wears a white cotton nightcap, a long white flannel dressing-gown, 
and is endeavoring, with a toivel, to staunch the blood from a ciit he has given 
himself in shaving — comes foricard calling " steivard") I was tormented all 
yesterday by an individual answering to that name, who kept harping 
on the disgusting subject of dinner ; [shudders) and now that I really 
want him — of course he's not to be found ! I wish I could get some 
sticking plaster, {shoivs cut on his jaw) This is the sanguinary consequence 
of trying to shave one's self — under the mingled effects of vertigo and a 
swing-glass. I thought myself uncommonly lucky to secure a passage 
at Aden by taking Mr. Downy's berth off his hands. How I exulted 
over the dozen parties who names stood on the P. and 0. books before 
Augustus Lovibond's. What would I have given to have changed places 
with them yesterday ! The agonies I've suffered in the last twenty -four 
hours on that layer of hard substauce which they call a bed — in that 



ACT 1. 19 

elevated coflSn, whidi they call a berth. The shiver of the screw, and 
the gnawing of the timbers, and the clashing of the chains overhead ; 
and the pitching and the tossing ; and, Worse than all, the rattle of 
knives of forks out here, and the lotion that eating was going on within 
arm's length of my — {turns sick) I feel a leetle (^smiling) better this morn- 
ing. But my head still seems to be set on a pivot. However, let me 
console myself *vith the reflection that I'm m my way home to England 
after nine years broiling at Singapore. I never could have endured my 
exile, but that England -neant Clarinda and the chains of matrimony. 
But it's now ihree years since jhe left London for India. Let's hope she 
has found another victim by this time. She could do it legally, I believe, 
after hearing nothing of me for seven years, even if my parting letter 
hadn't convinced her I was no more. Well, if she has married again, I 
wish her husband joy of her. What a temper that woman had ! Oh ! 
good heavens, what a temper to be sure ! Even a Singapore sun was 
better than the perpetual domestic broil I endured with Mrs. Lovibond. 
{^door o/IMus. Rabbits' cabin opens.) 

Dex. (without). The pills at bedtime, my dear madam. The draught 
in the morning. 
, Lov. Passengers coming this way ! Good gracious ! I'm not fit to 
be seen in this pickle ! Which is my cabin ? Confound it ! all the doors 
are alike — and my head's in such a whirl ! This is it, I think. 

[Exit into Mrs. Lovibond' s cabin, 1 e. l. 

Mrs. R. I shall attend most carefully to your directions, doctor, (a 
*hriek heard frwi Mrs. Lovibond's cabin. Mrs. Rabbits and Dexter 
appear on the threshold of the cabin) Hark ! what's that"? 

Dex. a squall! {they pause.) 

Lovibond hastily re-enters. 

Lov. The wrong cabin, by jingo ! I've frightened some unfortunate 
*iemale into hysterics. Eh — this must be my door. My head is in such 
a whirl ! * [Exit into his own cabin, 2 e. l. 

Mrs. R. Doctor, did you see that ? ^ 

Enter McTcek, d. l. c. 

Dex. a man in a dressing gown bolting into cabin No. 2. 

Mrs. R. Coming out of cabin No. 1 — and cabin No. 1 is Mrs. Lovi- 
bond's ! 

. McT. A man coming out of Clarinda's cabin ! {coming forward) 
What's that you say, madam 1 

Mrs. R. What I blush to repeat, major. The doctor and I have just 
seen a gentleman leaving Mrs. Lovibond's cabin — 1 repeat, a gentleman 
— and in a dressing gown ! Imagine my feelings— the feelings of a 
virtuous mother of a numerous family. I will not trust myself to dwell 
upon the subject ! {re-enters her cabin, u. E. r., with dignity.) 

McT. Is this true, sir 1 

Dex. I can't deny the fact — ^but it may have a great many explana- 
tions. 

McT. Explanations ! Don't talk to me, sir ! Hector IMcTurk is not 
to be humbugged, sir ! The individual who left that cabin visited it 
either by Mrs. Lovibond's invitation, or forced his way into It against 
her will. In either case he must settle accounts with Hector McTurk. 
I'll blow out any man's brains who presumes to love Clarinda Lovibond ! 
and as for the man who dares to insult her — I'll 

Dex. You can't well do more for him, major. Come, it may have been 



20 THE OTEELAND EOtTIE. 

only a mistake. I'll keep Mrs. Rabbits quiet, if you'll promise not to say 
anything to Mrs. Loviboad till I've made inquiries. 

McT. Till then, doctor, I'll bottle up my feelings. It's right you 
should know I've just proposed to Mrs. Lovibond ! and better cross the 
path of the man-eater in liis hunger, than come betwen Hector McTurk 
and the object of his preference. [Exit, i. d. c. 

Des. If the lion's skin only made the lion, Hector McTurk is a very 
formidable personage. 

Mks. L. {ivithout, in a faint voice). Ayah — Mrs. Grimwood — would any- 
body be good enough to go for the doctor ! 

Dex. The doctor is here, my dear madam, {knocks.') 

Enter Mks. Lovibond, very pale and agitated. 

Mrs. L. Oh, doctor — answer me one question. Do you believe in 
ghosts ? 

Dex. Ghosts generally resolve themselves, in medical opinion, into 
delirium tremens, or deranged liver. 

Mrs. L. Oh— but seriously, doctor — do you believe the spirits of Jhe 
departed are ever allowed to revisit this world ? 

Dex. Allow me. {feels her pulse) As I suspected. Quick and throbby — 
let me recommend a calmant. 

Mrs. L. This is no case for medicine. Listen, doctor — I'm not insane 
— I'm in perfect health — but not five minutes ago— in that cabin — I saw 
the spirit of my late husband. 

Dex. a spirit ! 

Mrs. L. Arrayed in the habilliments of the grave — a yawning wound 
in his throat — oh, horrible ! We were unhappy together — I was the 
cause. He left me with a threat of self-destruction — I have reason to 
believe he fell by his own hand— I was on the point of accepting a sec- 
ond husband. The spirit of my poor^ Augustus must have been sent 
to warn or deter mtj, 

Dex. Calm yourself, my dear lady. Some one may have entered 
your cabin by mistake — whom your imagination invested with these 
ghostly attributes. I may succeed in satisfying you of this. Mean- 
while, 111 send you a composing draught. For whom shall I say ? 

Mks. L. Mrs. Lovibond — No. 1. 

Dex. Very good. You had better take care of No. 1, and keep your- 
self quiet for the present. 
■ Mfjs. L. I will try — ^but 1 almost dread to re-enter this cabin. 

Dex. Never fear, madam. The ghost won't show himself while I'm 
here. They have a horror of doctors. {Exit Mrs. Lovibond into cabin 
JVo. 1.) Ah, ah, ah ! A ghost in a white cotton night cap ! 

Lov. {puis out his head). I really must find some sticking plaster. 

Dex. The ghost, for a pony ! Ha, ha, ha ! 

Lov. That's a very lively person. I beg your pardon, sir, but have 
you such a thing as a piece of court plaster about you ? 

Dsx. {takes out case). Here you are, sir — black, white, or flesh colored. 
Which would you prefer 1 

Lov. Well, I think black the most becoming, {licks it and tries to stick it 
m) Oh, dear, I haven't lick'd the gummy side 

Dex. Cut yourself in shavitig, I sef — I'm the ship's surgeon— allow 
me. (puts on the piece of plaster) The yawning gash in the throat! Ha, 
ha, ha ! 

Lov. Really, sir — my wound may not be exactly serious. But I'm 
notf aware that it's a fit subject for ridicule. 



ACT I. 21 

Dex. Excuse me, sir ; but the lady whotse cabin you entered just 
now 

Lov. By mistake, I assure you, sir. My brain's in such a topsy-turvey 
state ; I'm quite incapable of such an" intrusion intentionally. 

Dex. I can quite believe it — especially in your present costume. But 
that lady 

Lov. I m quite ready to make her the most ample apology, in writing, 
if necessary. If you'd oblige me with her name. 

Dex. Mrs. Lovibood ! 

TuOY. {aghast). Eh! Mrs. Lovibond 1 

Dex. Yes. Only fancy — she took you for the ghost of her late hus- 
band ! Ha, ha, ha ! 

Lov. {with a ghastly attempt at laughter). Ha, ha, ha ! 

Dex. And while she takes you for a ghost, Major McTurk — who it 
seems, ha^just proposed to her — is determined to make you one. 

Lov. Eh "? Major McTurk has just proposed to Claria — to that lady ? 

Dex. Yes, and means to blow out your brains. He interprets your 
visit to Mrs. Lovibond's cabin as the triumph of a rival — or the intrusion 
of a daring libertine. 

Lov. My dear, sir, I'm not a daring libertine. Do I look like one ? 
I'm anything but that, I assure you. 

Enter Moleskin, behind from l. c. 

Tell him — ^tell everybody — that my name is Downy — a respectable mer- 
chant of Singapore — that I'm dreadfully ill — unable to leave my cabin 
— I promise you I won't show my nose outside of it, till we're safe at 
Suez. 

Dex Oh, you'll be all right in a day or two. 
^ Lov. I don't want to be all right in a day or two — I've the best rea- 
sons for keeping myself to myself — I hate strangers — I detest society — 
I'm a regular misanthrope, however little you might think so to look at 
me — oh, sir — if you want to save a fellow creature from the most pain- 
ful consequences, help to keep up my incognito — promise me ! If money 
can bind you to secrecy 

Dex. Not the least occasion for that. We doctors are the best father 
confessors. Heaven bless a good many of our patients if we weren't ! 

Lov. Ah, sir, you've taken a load off my mind. I'm quite happy — 
that is — I should be— if my cabin was only a little less, crowded with 
luggage, {aside) I've half of Downy 's, as well as my own. If you only 
get a little of it cleared away I should think it a perfect paradise of 
eight feet by ten. 

Dkx. I'll send the steward to clear away some of your traps, (crosses 
li., and looks into Lovibond's cabin.) 

Lov. The fact is. I'd rather not see anybody— not even the steward, 

Dex. [looking into the cabin No. 2). Why, you've luggage enough for a 
lady, {goes to cabin No. 2 and looks into it.) 

Lov. {aside, while Dexter examines luggage). My wife only separated 
from me by a slight partition ! This major thirsting for my blood ! 
Here's a situation on the edge of two volcanoes, and sea-sick into the 
bargain. * How lucky I'm down on the passengers' list under the name 
of Downy, [re-enters cabin No. 2. ) 

Dex. [coming out of cabin No 2). What the deuce can the poor devil be 
afraid of ? I suppose it's the fire-eating major. 

Mole, {coming down, l. h.). Doctor, I hope you respect the laws of 
your country. 

Dex. Yes, in a general way. 



22 THE OVEELAND EOtTE. 

Mole. You ain't aiding, abetting, and comforting him, are you? 

Dex. Him 1 Who 1 

Mole. This here Downy — ^the party occupying this here cabin. The 
party that hates society^— society returns the compliment, I can tell him. 

Lov. (within). Here's a bag I can yery well spare, doctor; and a hat 
box I don't want. Oh ! and here's a portmanteau that's always getting 
between my legs. ( puts a portmanteau, hat case, black hag, etc., outside of 
door.) 

Mole, [seizes bag). The very identical bag named in my instructions ! 
{he proceeds to pick the lock.) 

Dex. Hollo ! what are you at ? 

Mole. Identifying — (takes out papers) all right. The missing securities 
— the forged bills — everything but the specie. 

Enter Smart, d. r. h., down c. 

'Dex. Here, captain, bear a hand to stop this. 

Smart. What's the row ? (comes forward.) 

Dex. Lunacy or larceny — rifling a passenger's luggage ! 

Mole. It's all right, gentlemen — I'm a detective. In the Queen's 
name, I charge you to aid me in arresting Thomas Downy, alias, etc., etc., 
etc., charged in this warrant with fraudulent bankruptcy, forgery, and 
felony ( producing warrant) at Colombo. 

Smart (looks at warrant). A felon aboard my ship ! 

Dex. My friend the ghost ! This explains his anxiety about his incog- 
nito. 

Mole. Now mind, gentlemen, I look to you to help me. This here 
Downy's a desperate charactei- — it's probable he'll resist. But the war- 
rant's all regular ; so if he kills any of us it'll be murder. 

Dex Thats a comfort! 

Mole. Call him, doctor — he'll come out to you. 

Dex. Poor devil !— but after all one mustn't pity a felon, (knocks) Mr. 
Downy. 

Lov. (within). Yes, doctor. 

Dex. (l.). Come out, I want to speak to you. 

Enter Lovibond. 

Lov. Strangers ! Oh, doctor, is this your fidelity 1 

Mole, (laying his hand on his shoidder and handcuffing him). Thomas 
Downy, I arrest you as a felon in the Queen's name ! 

Lov. Me — stop — this is a mistake. 

Mole. Is it t 

Lov. My name's not Downy — no — ^yes — it ain't. Oh 1 gracious ! (fdls 
into chair J c.) 

Tableau. 



ACT II. 23 



ACT 11. 

SCENE. — The poop deck of the Simoon, towards evening ; groups of passengers 
seen sitting and walking ; four Musicians playing the end of an overture 
up L. M«s. SebkKtHT and Colepepper discovered, she seated in a 
lounging chair, l. c, he seated on her r. — a Khitmagar in attendance 
up L. Sir Solomox {smoking a cigar on one of the seats, e. c, round 
the skylight) watching them, while he pretends to read. 

Mrs. S. (reading from "Bon Juan,'''' after music has ceased). 
^"They look'd up to the sky, whose floating glow 
Spread like a rosy ocean, vast and bright ; 
They gazed upon the glittering sea below. 

Whence the broad moon rose circling into sight , 
They heard the waves splash, and the winds so low, 
And saw each other's dark eyes darting light 

Into each other " 

(jshe stops, and is about to shut the book) That's quite enough ! 

Cole, {taking the book). No ; let me finish the stanza, my dear Mrs. 
Sebright — (Jie reads) 

" And, beholding this, 
Their lips drew nearer and clung unto." 
Mrs. S. {shivering). Oh, I'm so cold! 

Cole. Good heavens ! and you're not half wrapped up. [to l.) Qui-hi! 
— (Khitmagar approaches down l. and salaams — Colepepper ivhispers — 
Khitmagar salaams and exits by companion, l. h.) The evenings are posi- 
tively chilly. I've sent my Khitmagar for another shawl. 

Mrs. S. You're very kind, I'm sure. I'm quite ashamed to give you 
so much trouble ; but it's very pleasant to be so devotedly waited on. 

Cole. The pleasure is entirely on the side of your attendant, my dear 
Mrs. Sebright. Ah ! when will you give me right to offer you a life- 
long attention ? 

Re-enter Khitmagar frmn below with handsome Indian shawl. Colepepper 
takes shawl from Khitmagar, who exits, l. 

Allow me. 

Mrs. S. Oh, what a splendid Cashmere ! {drapes herself in it.) 

[One Lady and Gentlemen j-ise and exit, l. 

Cole. It was never properly displayed till now. These shoulders are 
too lovely for any less costly drapery. 

Mrs. S. Oh dear ! Oh dear ! Really, Mr. Colepepper, you shouldn't 
show a poor weak woman such things. How is one to resist them ? 

Cole. Let me hope you will continue to wear it by the best title— as — 

Mrs. S. {hastily rising). Hudn't we better take a turn about the deck"* 
I should never forgive myself if you caught a chill. 

Cole. Pooh, pooh ! my dear lady, I've an iron constitution ; I'm no. 
molly-coddle like Sir Solomon yonder. But if you prefer walking, I'm 
at your service, {they walk up arm-in-arm, l. h.) 

Sir S. {comes forward r.). It's astonishing how thnt old man can make 
such an ass of himself. 1 wonder Mrs. Sebright can tolerate his anti- 
quated attentions. And that shawl, too ! 1 flatter myself my necklace 
will take the shine out of his old-fashioned Cashmere ! 



24 THE oti:eland eoute. 

Enter Dexter /rojw the companion, k. h. 

Ah, Dexter ! Delicious evening. Allow me to offer you a cheroot, {pre- 
sents his case. 

Dex. Thank you. {lights cheroot — throws himself on Mks. Sebhight's 
chair, L. c.) A sunset sky— a sea breeze — au easy chair — and a prime 
cheroot — I call this paradise. 

Sir S. {sits r. h.). With a superbundance of Eves, doctor. 

Dex. {nodding towards Mrs. Sebight). Yonder goes one, at all events, 
with her old serpent at her side. 

Sir S. Colepepper, eh ^ A capital simile. "Why, it's not five minutes 
since he tempted her with that shawl she's displaying so coquettishly. 

Dex. Poor May ! Roguish old January ! {puffs a whiff of smoke ) 

Sir S. A charming person, Mrs. Sebright — a leetle too fond of atten- 
tions, perhaps. 

Dex. " A leetle," without the "perhaps." 

Sir S. It's melancholy to see her listening to the antediluvian gallant- 
ries of an old scarecrow like Colepepper, so young as she is. 

Dex. a mere child. 

Sir S. So inexperienced ! 

Dex. Innocence itself! 

Sir S. You know her, I think. 

Dex. Oh, yes ; we're old acqaaintances. 

Sir S. It would be a charity to open, her eyes to the absurdity of Mr. 
Colepepper's attentions — he's sixty-four, if he's a day. 

Drx Really ! 

Sir S. Hasn't a square inch of sound liver lefD, and no more calf to 
bis leg than ray walking stick. 

Dex. Then he makes up uncommonly well. 

Sib S. Wadding, Dexter; all wadding! And then, his temper! 
— simply de-testable ! He says he's going home on his pension ; but, 
between ourselves, it's to make friends with the Council. There's a 
screw loose in his Badgerypore accounts — important vouchers missing. 
He says they were stolen in the mutiny. 

Captain Clavering and Miss Colepepper enter from r. h. and join 
Mrs. Sebright. 

Dex. {aside). That box of papers I secured, [to Sir S.) The Commis- 
sioner's bungalow was plundered, you know. 

Sir S. Oh ! of coarse. Depend upon it, the mutiny has been an un- 
commonly convenient event for a great many people. 

Dex. Really, it would be a charity to put Mrs. Sebright up to all this. 

Sir S. Well, if a friend could just hint the truth to her — not that I 
want to put a spoke in Colepepper's rusty old wheel 

Dex. Oh ! every one who knows Sir Solomon Fraser must be aware 
of his disinterestedness. 

Sir S. Yes, I've been a sufferer by it all my life ; but it's constitu- 
tional, and, talking of constitutions, I don't think mine will be improved 
by this night air ; I'll just get another wrapper. Meanwhile, if you 
should have an opportunity to put Mrs. Sebright on her guard - 

Dex. Trust me to do justice to your hints, Sir Solomon. 

Sir S. {rising — aside). Now I caH that diplomatically managed, {goes 
up, exit, R. H. ) 

Dex. {aside). The rascally old backbiter wants me to play the cat to 
get his chestnuts out of the fire. (Mr. Colepepper leaves the group and 
comes forward, l. h.) , 



ACT II. 25 

CoLB. Good evening, Mr. Dexter ! I'm very glad to have an opportu- 
. nitj' of renewing our Badgerypore acquaintance. Though a civil sei-vant, 
I have never shrunk from intimacy tvith the press. Your way of con- 
ducting your paper got you immense credit. 

Dex Did it, Mr. Colepepper 1 I always found people eager for ready 
money, notwithstanding. 

Cole. I mean credit with the Governor General, and the authorities at 
Calcutta. You set your brethren of the press an excellent example of 
courage and straightforwardness — noble qualities, Mr. Dexter ; noble 
qualities, sir. 

Dex. Tlien I wisft the authorities had paid what I lost by them. 

Cole. Ah, Mr. Dexter, such virtue, I'm afraid 

Sill Solomon comes down r. h., and j'oim Mrs. Sebright. 

Dex. Is it's own reward, Mr. Colepepper, I've been fully repaid in 
that rSlher unsubstantial currency. 

Cole. Oil, you would have triumphed over all difficulties, my dear sir, 
if it hadn't been for the mutiny. We have all been sufferers by that 
deplorable event — civil servants, soldiers, private adventurers, women. 
Why, look at our passengers ; observe the melancholy proportion of 
widows ! 

Dex. Say, rather, the uncommonly jolly proportions of some of the 
widows, my crummy friend — Mrs. Lovibond, for example. 

Cole Or pretty little Mrs. Sebright yonder, (aside) Confound it ! 
there's Sir Solomon at her elbow. A charming woman, Mr. Dexter. 

Dex. Very. 

Cole. It's a pity she should get herself talked about with that pecu- 
liarly silly old fellow, Fraser. 

Dex. Sir Solomon is not the wisest of men, certainly ; but he's a 
K.. C. B., Mr. Colepepper 

Cole. Titles are empty things, Mr. Dexter. 

Dex. And are often appropriately bestowed on empty people. 

Cole. Too true. Sir Solomon is a melancholy example. Mrs. Se- 
bright's friends ought really to open her eyes. She's much too interest- 
ing a creature to be thrown away on a battA-ed old beau like Sir 
Solomon. 

Dex. Old ? Why, he don't, look above five-and-forty. 

Cole. Art, Mr. Dexter, all art — cosmetics, hair dyes, false teeth. 

Dex. What a very diplomatic tout ensemble ! But are you positive 
about the teeth % 

Cole. My Kbitmagar caught his man cleaning 'em only the other 
day. They're taken out at night and replaced in the morning, like his 
shirt studs. Then, as for his diplomatic reputation, it's all a hollow 
mockery, sir. 

Dex. Like his teeth — eh 1 

Cole. Exactly, and* not quite so easily cleaned ; for, between our- 
selves, there's an awkward charge hangins over him at this moment — of 
taking " backsheesh " when resident at Ramshacklegur. 

Drx. {aside). That accounts for the necklace. 

Cole. You know, accepting presents by civil servants is against regu- 
lations. If the charge is brought home to Sir Solomon he'll be disgraced 
— of course, as a friend of his, I regret to hear such things ; but one 
can't quite shut one's ears, you know. 

Dex. {aside). No, nor one's mouth neither. 

Sir Solomon is seen earnestly speaking to Mrs. Sebright — they then s&pa/t' 



'126 THE OTEKLAND EOUTE. 

ate — Sir Solomon crosses to r , converses with a lady — Mhs. Sebright 
dotvn L., approaching Dextek. 

Cole. Now, it may be a melancholy duty to open her eyes, but they 
ought to be opened ; and if you should have an opportunity — there she 
comes ! Break it to her gently, my dear sir ; but, whatever you do, 
break it. [aside) Ehem ! I think I've out-manosuvered the diplomatist. 
(goes up, R. H., by the opposite side to tliat by which Mrs. Sebright comes 
down, L., and rejoiiis his daughter and Captain Clavkking.) 

Mrs. S. Oh, Mr. Dexter, I'm so glad to catch you at last alone. I 
thought that tiresome Mr. Colepepper would never Ifave left you. 

Dex. Don't say tiresome ; he was singing your praises. I conclude 
from that that you haven't told him the truth yet. 

Mrs. S. About John ? {hesitatingly) No, not exactly. 

Dex. Allow me to relieve you of that shawl, {takes off the shawl Cole- 
pepper has given her — folds it up — puts it on seat, c.) 

Mrs. S. Mr, Dexter, how dare you take such a liberty 1 

Dex. I want it to keep company with Sir Solomon's necklace. I sup- 
pose you haven't told him the truth, neither 1 

Mrs. S. Not yet, Mr. Dexter; you see it's so very awkward. 

Drx. It always is awkward to get back to the hard road of facts from 
the soft but shifting sands of falsehood. 

Mrs. S. Oh, if you only knew the perplexity I'm m ! They've both 
proposed. I tried everything to prevent it. 

Dex. Everything but the truth. 

Mrs. S. I'm sure 1 did my best. I flirted with Sir Solomon in hopes 
to drive away Mr. Colepepper ; and then I coquetted with Mr. Cole- 
pepper on purpose to disgust Sir Solomon. But it's all of no use ! I'm 
fairly at my wit's end. 

. Dex. Then, as wit's exhausted, you may as well fall back on wisdom ; 
and wisdom says, "Tell the truth and shame the devil." It must be 
done, and better o'ut of your mouth than other people's. Suppose I 
helped you to a good reason for saying " No " to both of them 1 

Mrs. S. Oh, I should be so thankful — that is, any reason but the real 
one. 

Dex. Each is amiably anxious to save you from the other. According 
to Sir Solomon, Mr. Colepepper is sixty-five — worn out in constitution 
— damaged in reputation — and cloudy in prospects. If I may believe 
Mr. Colepepper, Sir Solomon is an empty, made-up coxcomb — with 
false hair — false complexion — false teeth — and factitious reputation — 
and with the sword of official disgrace hanging overhira by a hair. Now, 
you have only to hold up to each of your admirers the picture of him 
painted by the other, to escape from both with flying colors. Come, you 
must get out of the scrape somehow. I've put the clue in your hand- 
follow it — at least it will lead you straight forward. Here comes Sir 
Solomon, [crosses behind her, retires up to u) 

Sir Solomon, down r. 

Sir S. My dear Mrs. Sebright, the term for delivering your ultimatum 
has expired. You promised an answer to my proposal this evening. 

Mrs. S. Really, Sir Solomon — I feel quite unworthy ^ 

Sir S. Not unworthy. Beauty, youth, and grace have their claims, 
even against family, title, and diamonds. 

Mrs. S. I'm very sorry — I'm afraid you will think me very ungrate- 
ful — but — in fact — there's an insurmountable obstacle. 

Sm S. An obstacle ? You don't mean Mr. Colepepper ? 



ACT II. 27 

Mrs. S. Mr. Colepepper ! — what an idea ! Why, he's sixt^'-five, if 
he's a day — a ruined constitution — a bad temper — and anything but 
brilliant prospects. 

Sir S. {ehuekUng, aside). Bravo! my thunder! Well, done, doctor! 
(CoLEPi;ppER comes down, l.) 

Mrs. S No. I'm sure if there was nothing more formidable in your 
way than Mr. Colepepper 

Sir S. Here he comes, {aside) We must renew this conversation. She 
means to say yes, or she'd have returned the necklace. [Retires up k. 

Cole {coming down i/.). My dear Mrs. Sebright, I've been grilling over 
a slow fire while Sir Solomon has been bestowing his tediousness upon 
you. i hope you have weighed my proposal. 

Mrs. S. I'm sure, Mr. Colepepper, nothing would have given me 
greater pleasure, but 

Cole. " But! " Am I to understand there's a " but " in the way ? 

M«s. S. I'm sorry to say there is — a very great " but." 

Cole. I know who it is — that puppy, Sir Solomon ! 

Mrs. S. He is a "great butt," certainly; but you needn't be jealous 
of Sir Solomon — a battered old beau^-vain — frivolous — with a made-up 
face — dyed hair — and false teeth ! 

Cole, (aside). Bravo ! Exactly the points I put to Dexter! (Sir Sol- 
omon comesdown k.) Here he comes. We'll pursue our conversation by- 
and-bye. {aside) She seems to have packed up my shawl — that must mean 
accepting. 

Sir S. Now, pray don't let me interrupt your tfete-a-tfete. 

Cole. Not at all, Sir Solomon, {bu/le sounds, l.) That's the supper 
bugle. Mrs. Sebright was just going down for a little refreshment, (the 
groups on deck break vp and descend the companions, and through the rail hy 
the slips at hack.) 

Mrs. S. May I trouble you to bring my things ? (they gather up shawls, 
footstool, etc. Aside) How I wish I could get both off my hands ! (each 
approaches with his load on one arm, and offers her the otiier — go up talking — 
exeunt hy companion, n.) 

Smart, (r.) Dexter, yc.) ««<? Moleskin, (l.) come fortoard from the rail. 

Mole. I put it to you, doctor, as a medical man, whether it ain't im- 
possible for the prisoner to keep up his constitution in this 'ere climate, 
without fresh /tair and Aexercisel 

Dex. He certainly would be all the better for "/resA^aeV," to judge by 
what I saw under his white cotton extinguisher. He ought to be trotted 
on deck at least a couple of hours every day. 

Mole. So I tell him. "Look here, Mr. Downy," I says, "I don't 
want to have you die on ray hands. The warrant charges me to take 
your body — but your dead body would be no manner of use." But he 
woif t listen to me, bless you. There he sits, moping and maundering, 
and declaring he's somebody else. 

Smart. I'm Captain, here. Come along with me, Mr. Moleskin, and 
111 have him on deck, if I've to bouse him up by the skylight. But, re- 
member, his arrest is to be kept quiet for the credit of the ship. 

Mole. All right, Captain — mma. as a mouse. Nobody needn't know 
anything but that we're friends — such very good friends, we can't loose 
sight o' one another. 

Dex. But he can't run away from your custody here. 

Ikter Mrs. Loviboitd from cmnpanion, l. 



28 THE OYEELAND IlOirT!E. 

Mole. How do I know what papers he may have stowed away ? If 
I didn't keep a heye on him, he might throw 'em overboard, or himself 
either — he's artful enough. 

Smart. Well^ come along, Mr. Moleskin. (Moleskin crosses) The deck's 
all quiet now ; we'll have him up in a jiffy. [Exit Smart and Moleskin, r. 

Mrs. L. {coming forward). Mr. Dexter, you know Major McTurk — may 
I ask if he has confided to you the delicate relation in which we standi 

Dex. I am aware that the Major has popped — I beg your pardon — 
proposed to you, and I applaud his taste. 

Mrs. L. Then perhaps he has also confided to you the reason of the 
strange alteration in his manner since this morning — his coldness — his 
estrangement ? 

Dex. Oh, yes ; it was the ghost. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Mrs. L. Sir, that mysterious apparition is no subject for levity. 

Dex. Mysterious ! I wish all ghosts could be explained away so 
easily ! It turns out that the supposed ghost was a sea-sick passenger, 
which accounts for his cadaverous Complexion ; his habiliments of the 
grave resolve themselves into a white cotton nightcap and flannel dress- 
ing gown ; and the yawning wound in his throat, was a cut he had 
given himself in shaving — he had blundered into your cabin, and was 
seen by the Major making his retreat. 

Mrs. L. Could the Major do me the injustice to suspect ! But are 
you sure it was a man 1 

Dex. " I'll take the ghost's word, for a thousand pounds !" — I had it 
. from his own lips. 

Mrs. L. But the extraordinary resemblance to my late husband 1 

Dex. Accident, no doubt, or your fancy, 

Mrs. L. Do you know this intruder's name 1 

Di!X Downy. 

Mrs. L. Oh, what a -relief! I expect the Major My dear doctor, 
may I aslc you to explain this to him, and spare me painful references 
' to the past 1 • , 

Dex. With pleasure. (Mrs. Lovibond retires, l. h.) By Jove ! I'm 
gradually becoming the pivot on which everything turns in this ship. 
(McTuKK comes up hy the rail, r. H;) I had-no notion a P. and 0. doctor's 
duty was to patch up more lover's quarrels than broken heads, and to 
administer as many doses of calumny as of calomel. Both dangerous 
medicines, and both a great deal too much resorted to. Well, Major, I 
told you I should find an explanation of the intrusion on Mrs.Lovibonds 
cabin this morning I've found it. 

McT. Satisfactory! 

Dex. Perfectly. It turns out as I expected, that the intruder is an 
entire stranger to the lady. Only came on board at Aden. He left his 
cabin to call the steward, and was too sea-sick to find his way back 
again. 

McT. Oh, if you can satisfy me he was a stranger to Mrs. Lovibond, 
I shall merely insist upon a public apology in the presence of all the 
saloon passengers. But, mind, only if he's a stranger. Let me dis- 
cover any intimacy between 'em, or even acquaintanceship, and, {imi- 
tates the action of firing a pistol ) one of us must fall — and I don't mean 
it to be me. (Miss Colepfpper comes ttp with a look and sits near the sky- 
light, R.) Supper will be over; aren't j'^ou coming down V 

Dex. No; I prefer solitude and a cigar. [Exit, Major, r. Aside) There's 
Mary Colepepper — she sees me. Will she speak? I won't. !f s/;e's proud, 
so am I! {smoJces —Miss Colep.pper, after a paus^ and a moment's 
hesitation, closes her book and approaches.) 
Miss C. Mr. Dexter ! {embarrassed.) 



ACT Tl. 29 

Dex. Miss Colepepper a truant from the supper table ! 

Miss C. This lovely sea and sky have more attractions for me, I con- 
fess, than the saloon. ( both sit, c.) 

Dex. I am glad to find one person on board of my way of thinking. 
{a pause) I hope my cigar does not annoy you. 

Miss C. Oh, no ! I don't dislike it in the open air. {another pause — she 
fumbles with the book — he takes his cigar from his mouth — each is about to 
speak, bid each, perceiving the otherh intentions, pauses embarrassed.) 

Dex. I beg your pardon — did you speak 1 

Miss C. No ; I thought you did. 

Dkx. No; but are you sure my smoke doesn't blow in your face? 
Perhaps I'd better shift to leward. {rises as if to go across the deck.) 

Miss C. Don't stir on my account, pray. I am glad of an opportu- 
nity of expressing to you my gratitude for the preservation 1 owe to 
yoijf couraae on that terrible night of the mutiny ; my admiration of 
the unselfish humanity with which you risked your life to-day, to save 
a poor sailor. 

Dex. Miss Colepepper, take my advice, and never praise a man for 
doing his duty. It makes him imcomfortable when it does not make 
him conceited. • 

Miss C. At least let me express my regret that my father did not re- 
ceive you with more hospitality at Calcutta. I'm sure if he had known 
all we owed you 

Dex. T didn't knock at your father's door as a creditor, but as an ac- 
quaintance. I ought to have remembered Calcutta wasn't Badgery pore, 
and the convenient newspaper editor an altogether different personage 
from the out-at-elbows tramp. 

Miss C. But if you really knew my father, I am sure you would es- 
teem, as well as hke him. Long habits of authority have made him 
imperious and hasty — apt to stand on his dignity. 

Dex. His dignity ! You would, laugh, perhaps, to hear me talk oft 
mine ; but I have such a thing. The time may come when your father 
will be as frank in owning my services as you are now. I will accept 
his recognition from his own lips, but not by proxy from yours. Mean- 
time, forgive me, if I measure our intimacy 

Enter Clavering, r, 

rather by what T know to be your father's notions of social etiquette 
than your kindly impulses. Here's Captain Clavering coming in search 
of you. Ife's up to the mark. There can be no impropriety in his act- 
ing as your escort, and if acquaintance with him should grow into a 
warmer feeling {both rise.) 

Miss C. Mr. Dexter ! you have no right to suggest such a thing ! 
Captain Clavering is an acquaintance of papa's — not of my choosing. 

Dex. I beg your pardon, I was guilty of an impertinence; but it's 
difficult not to be bitter now and then, in spite of the most philosophic 
intentions. 

Clavering, down b. 

Claver. I come as a deputation to ask you if you will give us a little 
music down stairs 1 They want " La ci darem " — I m ready to take the 
bass. 

Dex. {aside). That I'll swear you are! 

Miss C. I don't feel in voice this evening. Captain Clavering. {turns 
away.) 

Clavek. Now, really, that's very provoking ! I'll tell 'em so. {igoes. 



30 THE OVERLAND EOTTTE. 

round to sJcylight, L., and speaks down as if to guests) They'll all be in de- 
spair ! 

i>EX. {aside to Miss Colepepper). Not in voice 1 Oh, Miss Colepep- 
per! The tone in which you said "Captain Clavering," just now, was 
the pleasantest music I've heard for many a day. So delightfully chill- 
ing ! Do sing ! 

Miss C Not with him ! Will you sing with me ? 

Dex. Will 1 not! 

Miss C. Tlien I'll sing. 

Dex. But you refused Clavering ? 

Miss C. Yes ; I thought you would ask me. 

Di<;x. {passionately). Mary! {cheeking himself) I beg your pardon. 
{ceremoniously) Miss Colepepper. May I offer you my arm to the saloon ? 

[They go off arm-in-arm, l. c. 

Claver. {looking up from skylight down which he has been talking). Holloa! 
she's taUen that fellow's arm I Confound his impudence ! I'll teach 
him. {going violently after him) No, (stops) curse him ! he knows too much. 

[Exit, sulkily, R. 

Enter Moleskin and Lovibond, l. c, he wears a great coat, with the collar 
up, and handcuffs under the long sleeves of his chat, and a large hat nearly 
concealing his features. 

Mole. (l.). There's a style of toggery for the tropics ! Why, it's 
enough to make a man prespire to look at you. How can you 1 

Lev. (r.). It's not for warmth— quite the contrary. I'm running away 
mider 'em ! It's the natural desire of a man in my degrading position 
to escape observation. You will cruelly force me on deck, but I hope 
you won't compel me to show my face. They allow masks even to the 
prisoners at Pentonville. 

Mole. Degraded be blowed ! You're not the first nor the last gent 
that's had a misfortune. Besides, nobody knows but you're a gentleman, 
and Fm a gentleman. 

Lov. But you never leave me ! 

Mole. What o' that ! It's only a case o' two gentlemen that's werry 
fond o' one another. 

Lov. And these fetters ! {holds up his wrists to show the handcuffs. ) 

Mole. The darbies ! Oh! keep your cuffs well down and nobody will 
be any the wiser. 

Lov, But suppose my nose should itch, and I want to scratch it 1 

Mole. Well, in that case, you must ruh it against something. 

Lov. I sui)pose it's no use asserting^ my innocence any more 1 

Mole. Not a bit of it. 

Lov. Still there's a melancholy satisfaction in repeating that I'm not 
the felon Downy— that I was left at Aden by the breaking down of the 
last P. and 0. boat, in which I ought to have reached Suez. I found a 
dozen names before mine on the list for the Simoon, and was fool enough 
to jump at a berth offered me by the felon Downy, for a slight advance, 
little dreaming what would be the consequence. 

Mole. That's a werry feasible story, but it won't wash. 

Lov. What do you mean by " it won't wash ? " {disgusted.") 

Lov. Why should you ha' come aboard by the name of Downy, if you 
are somebody else 1 

Lov. Because, Mr. Moleskin, at the intermediate stations, passengers 
are booked contingent on vacancies. Now, Downy stood No. 1 for Suez : 
I stood No. 10. By assuming the name of Downy I stepped into hia 
shoes as No. 1. 



ACT ir. ^ 81 

Mole. "Werry artful, indeed ! But how do you account for your pos- 
session of that there bag ? 

^Lov. The felon Downy begged me to take it for him. I was to leave 
it at Shepherd's Hotel, Cairo. What a damned fool you are ! 

jVIole. {admiringly^. Well, that's more than I can say of you. You are 
a cute 'un, Mr. Downy! But it won't do, bless you; the likeher it 
looks, the less I beheves it. You've got no witnesses, you see, to iden- 
tify you as somebody else. 

Lov. {aside). Identify me, eh ? Good heavens ! Clarinda could do it 
at once ! But then I should only get rid of the handcuffs of justice, to 
put on those of matrimony. Still there's no other way of redeeming my 
character, so here goes. Mr. Moleskin, you place me in a painful dilem- 
ma. There is a lady on board who can prove I'm not the felon Downy. 
But I must request a private interview with her, or the consequences 
may be awful. 

]\foLE. Who is it 1 

Lov. Mrs. Lovibond. 

MoL K. I know : the fine woman with the light 'air and blue eyes. 
Quite the lady, she is. I think I might trust you with her : in course, 
keeping a heye on you both. 

Lov. {iviping his nose on Moleskin's shoulder'). He told me to rub it on 
something ! Hem ! Then let Mrs. Lovibond know that a gentleman 
wishes to speak with her privately, on most particular business. 

Mole. But I must give her some name. Suppose 1 say " Downy ?" 

Lov. Call me what you will. In my position, one name's as bad as 
another, [crosses to l.) 

Mole, {goes to skylight). Steward ! Tell Mrs. Lovibond to step upon 
deck, Mr. Downy wants her. You didn't think I was agoing to lose 
sight of you, did you, Mr. Downy 1 Just come back. 

Lov. Yes; it's the last "desperate alternative. Some people might 
say that it's "out of the frying pan into the fire." But on the whole I 
would rather endure penal servitude as Lovibond the married man, than 
as the felon Downy. Both sentences would be for life ; but the one will 
be a case of convict allowance, Carpentaria, and gray and yellow dittoes. 
Besides, it's possible Clarinda may be changed. She may be affected 
by my position — this wasted form — these fettered limbs — this disgust- 
ingly familiar detective. 

Enter Mrs. Lovibokd, l. 

Oh ! how I hate that fellow ! 

Mrs. L. Mr. Downy seeking an interview; no doubt to apologize for 
his intrusion. 

Major McTpek shows his head cautiously from behind the companion hatch. 

McT. A request for a private interview with Clarinda. She little 
thought I overheard the message. From this shelter I can watch what 
passes. 

Moleskin watches the interview from one of the gangway seats near top of 

skylight. 

Mrs. L. Mr. Downy, you have sought an interview. I can readily 
guess the motive of your request. It is granted already. 

Lov. {aside). I'll break myself to her by gentle degrees, and alter my 
voice a little. Madam, {disguising Ms voice) it's now some ten years ago 
since your husband, Augustus Lovibond 



32 THE OJ^EKLiND EOUTE. 

m 

Mrs. L. Good heavens ! Mr. Downy ! 

Lov. Left his home in Bernard street, Russell squai'e, at his usual 
hour after breakfast, on the morning of the 10th of August. ^ 

Mrs. L. Yes ; from that moment I have had no tidings of him but one 
letter, from which 

Lov You inferred that he had sought in another existence that re- 
pose denied him here. 

Mrs. L. Oh, sir, how do j'ou know this % 

Lov. From the unhappy Lovibond in person. 

Mrs. L. Then he didn't make away with himself 1 

Lov. He tried to do it, but couldn't; the man was very miserable. 

Mrs. L. Alas, sir, by my fault, I'm afraid. 

Lov. {aside). She owns it! 

Mks. L, 1 thought I had driven him to an untimely end. 

Lov. You drove him as far in that direction as he was capable of go- 
ing. Bat when it came to the point, he deteimined to live on. 

Mrs L. Oh, sir, you've taken a load off my mind. 

Lov. He engaged a passage to Alexandria, and thence to Singapore ; 
and there, in honest industry, strove to forget the wife whose jealousy 
and too great desire for sway had driven him into exilel 

Mrs. L. And he still lives, sirl 

Lov. He does; in hopes of one day hearing that his wife, whom he 
always loved, even while he trembled under her frown, had become a 
changed being. 

Mks. L. Oh, sir, she has ; believe me, she has. Are you in communi- 
cation with him \ 

Lov. Yes, I see him every day. He has left Singapore. Suppose I 
told you he was awaiting the arrival of this vessel at Suez ? 

Mrs. L. I should be so happy. 

Lov. It wouldn't be too much for you 1 

Mrs. L. No ! 

Lov. Suppose I {rold you he was on board 1 

Mrs. L. Oh ! gracious ! 

Lov. That he stood before you. Here ! {strikes an altitude, removes Ms 
"hat, and resumes his natural voice) Yes, Clarinda ! Behold yom* long-lost 
Gussy-! 

Mrs. L. Augustus ! Is it possible ! You stand apart. Won't you 
take ms to your arms 1 

Lov. Would if I could, (shows handcuffs. MtiTuRK testifies hj gestures 
his rage at the sight of the kiss, and disappears) But I can't. These mana- 
cles ! Ovei-powered as I am by emotion, I can't even blow my 

Would you blow it for me 1 {she ivipes his nose with her pocket handker- 
chief ) 
' ill s. L. A prisoner ! Why, what have you done 1 

Lov. Nothing ; but it seems Downy has done all sorts of thing. He 
gave me up his berth and the use of his name. No doubt he knew he 
was tracked, and that the officers were on board. I've been avrested for 
him I've sent for you to identify me. Yonder sits the detective. 
Speak the word, and your Augustus once more walks abroad in the 
proud consciousness of freedom, and a hght coat better suited to the 
climate. 

Mrs. L. I won't loose a moment! {she goes up, k., to Moleskin, and 
speaks toith him earnestly.) 

Enter Sir Solomon from companion, l. 

Sir S. Mr. Downy, allow me to present my card, {gives card. Lovibond 



ACT u. 33 

tahes it awhwardly, owing to his handcuffs) As a diplomatist, it is my pecu- 
liar function to prevent fighting. But, as a gentleman, of course, 1 can't 
refuse to be the bearer of a hostile message. 

Lov. A hostile message to me! Why, I've offended nobody ! {aside) 
Oh. I suppose it's meant for Downy. 

Sir S. Pardon me. I am instructed to say that you have insultea a 
lady, to whom Major McTurk stands in the most delicate relation. 

Lov. I know nothing of McTurk, or his delicate relations ! I've in- 
sulted nobody. 

Siu S. Ifcrdon me. I am instructed to say that you have most grossiy 
insulted Mrs. Lovibond : first, by entering her cabin this morning ; and, 
just now, by openly kissing her on deck before several witnesses. 

Loiv. But, suppose I'm ready to explain ? 

Sir S. Pardon me ; I am instructed to say no explanation can be ac- 
cepted. You will be good enough to refer me to a friend. 

Eov. Sir, I have no friends ; and, if 1 had, I wouldn't refer you to one. 
But surely, as a rational man, when I tell you that Mrs, Lovibond is my 
wife 

Sir S. Your wife 

Lov. Yes, sir, my wife ! 

Sir S. That case was certainly not provided for in my instructions. 

Lov. Perhaps you'll have the kindness to inform Major McTurk of 
the fact ; such will be confirmed by the lady, if referred to. i,goes up l. 
of skylight, to Mrs. Lovibond and Moleskin.) 

Sir S. Let me see. Here I am, thrown suddenly on my own respon- 
sibility. I was charged to insist on an appointment to fight at Suez ; 
but this relation between the parties alters the aspect of the negotiation. 
A man has, certainly, the right to enter his wife's cabin, and even kiss 
her before witnesses, though such conjugal endearments are in bad taste. 
Having, as it were, left Mr. Downy a copy of ray dispatches, I think I 
may, with propriety, convey his explanation to the Major. , \^Exit, l. 

Lovibond, Mrs. Lovibond, «>?«? Moleskin come down. 

Mole. Werry well. You say, ma'am, and will stake yonr davy, if 
necessary, that the prisoner is Augustus Lovibond — your husband — who 
left you ten years ago 1 

Mrs. L. Yes. 

Lov. There, sir ! Remove these degrading fetters, [holds out his wrists.) 

Mdle. Stop a bit ;. don't you be in an 'urry. All you say, ma'am, may 
be werry true ; I don't doubt it a bit. Only, you see, it proves nothing 
again this 'ere charge. 

Lov. Why, it proves I'm Augustus Lovibond. 

Mole Exactly. 

Lov. And, therefore, T can't be Thomas Downy ! 

Mole Wliy not '? That don't follow — Thomas Downy has no end of 
aliases. Why, there's six on the warrant. How do I know Lovibond 
mayn't be another alias of Downy — or Downy an alias of Lovibond? 

Mrs L. Oh, dear! that never occurred to me ! (Lovibond groans.) 

Mole. Besides, you've been ten years away from your good lady here. 
How does she know what games you may have been up to all that time 7 

Lov. {looking at Mrs. Lovibond). Never ! never ! I've been up to 
nothing I 

MoLR. No, no, ma'am; I'm werry sorry for your feelings — bu^ it wont 
wash ! 

Lov. My dear, sir, what will wash 1 

Mbs. L. What is to be done ? Oh, I know; I'll consult Mr. Dexter. . 



34 THE OVERLAND EOTJTE. 

He's everybody's friend. Good-bye, Augustus — keep up your spirits 
till I return, {embraces him, sobbing) Oh, dear, oh dear ! 

Lov. [unable to wijie his eyes). Clarinda, dear, do my nose again, {she 
wipes his eyes, and exits, l. ) Here's a state of things! I've discovered 
myself to my wife, and 1 haven't got rid of my handcuffs ! 

Unter SiK Solomon, l. 

Sir S. Mr. Downy, I have conveyed your explanation to my principal, 
Major McTurk. 

Lov. Ah! of course, he's satisfied'? 

Sir S. Pardon me. He says that supposing you to be the husband of 
Mrs. Lovibond, your heartless behavior to that lady, of which she has 
long ago informed him, renders it more than ever his duty to call you 
out. It may be as well you should know he Is a dead shot, and that he 
labors under the impression that, in shooting you he will be ridding the 
world of- a monster. 

Lov. Don't talk in that ridiculous manner ! Do I look like a monster ? 

Silt S. You will excuse my entering upon that question. May I re- 
quest that you will refer me to a friend to arrange the preliminaries. 

Lov. There's the doctor. He's everybody's friend. Perhaps he won't 
object as mine. 

Slit S. I shall take an early opportunity of conferring with him. Sir, 
I have the honor to wish you a very good evening. [Exit. l. 

Lov. Good evening ! 1 thought Mrs. Lovibond would smooth every- 
thing. But she makes everything worse and worse! Here I am with a 
wife — a duel — and the handcuffs — all on my hands at once, (down l.) 

Dex. (down R. ). Now, my dear sir, don't give way to despair. You're 
safe to be identified sooner or later. 

Lov. Later, I'm afraid! 

Dex. The awkward part of the business is, that you've been at Sin- 
gapore all the time covered by this swindler's transactions. I'm afraid 
the onlj' way will be to move a postponement of your trial at the Old 
Bailey, 'till we can get witnesses over from the Straits, to swear 
you're not Downy. , 

Lov. But my arrest isn't all, doctor. I've got into a fresh scrape since 
Clarinda left me. Sir Solomon Fraser has brought me a challenge from 
Major McTurk. 

Dex. a challenge ! What for ? 

Lov. My conduct to my wife, he says 

Dex. Let me see. Yes, I think I can get you out of that mess. 

Lov. Can you 1 Ob, my dear doctor 

Di:x. Certainly. We'll tell the major you're in custody on a charge 
of felony. Of course, a man in that ignominious position forfeits all 
the privileges of a gentleman — incl ading that of being popped off with 
a hair trigger. 

Lascars enter with lamps from companion, R. and h. — hang lamps — passen-; 
gers r. and L.,—band l. — when band is on, Lascai4S exit by companion, 
R. and L. 

Lov. But the loss of my character 1 

Dex. Will be the saving of your life. Choose between 'em. {a pause ; 
Moleskin comes down r.) 

Lov. (jio and blast my reputation, (exit Dexter r.) My (passengers be- 
gin to appear on deck) wife found ! My life ia danger ! My reoutation 
blighted I 



ACT II. 35 

Mole. Here's the company coming up from supper. Now, Mr. Downy, 
(taps him on the shoulder) 1 tliink it's about time to turn in. 

Lov. And a detective continually at my side ! But let, me hide my 
misery in my cabin. Lead on, myrmidon of the law.* 

.Mi'LE. Myr — midden! Oome, Mr. Downy, I ve behaved quite the 
gentleman to you, sir, and I didn't ought to be called out of my natiiC 
— and by such a hepithet too — " Midden," indeed, Mr. Downy, I blush 
for you ! ' 

-Lov. That's the climax! Ife blushes forme! {they go up n., as Lovibond, 
approaches the companion, Dexter enters, r.) Well, doctor, you've seen the 
major' s friend 1 

Dex. I've seen the major. 

Lov. And, of course the challenge is off 1 

Dex. On the contrary ; he says he'll wait the result of your trial. If 
you're found guilty, he will leave you to the law. But if you're ac- 
qufTted, he' 11 call you out the day after. 

Lov. Good heavens ! I said the climax was attained. This caps the 
climax ! [Exeunt Lovibond and Moleskin, r. 

Smart, r., and Hardisty, t , cnme down. Enter Mrs. Sebright, Cole- 
pepper, Mrs. Lovibond, Sir Solomon, Miss Colepepper, Clav- 
ERiNG, Mrs. Rabbits, and pther passengers, and, MoTurk ; group at 
top. 

Dex. {to Smart). Captain, with your permission, the passengers pro- 
pose a dance on deck. 

Smart. All right, Doctor. (Dexter (^oesM^) I'm going to turn in, Har- 
disty. You'll see the look-outs relieved. It's a fine night, but the 
moon will bring up a haze with it, and we're not far from the Mazaffa 
Reefs. 

Hard. Aye, aye, sir. \Exit Smart, r. 

Mrs. S. {coming down to Dkxter). Oh, doctor ! both Sir Solomon and 
Mr. Colepepper want to dance with me. if 1 accept either, 1 know the 
other will be so angry ; so I told both 1 was engaged to you. 

Dex. Really, as John Sebright's friend, I don't like this lavish resort 
to fibbing. 

Mrs. S. Please don't gay fibbing 

Dex. Taradiddles, at all events. I've a good mind to throw you over. 

Mrs. S Oh, please, doctor, if you'll look over it, only this one. 

Dex. Well, as there's no great harm done, and as you 3re certainly 
the prettiest partner on board — come along. 

A dance is formed : Sir Solomon and Mrs. Rabbits; CoLEPEPPEft and 
Mrs. Lov'.eond : ^Jlavering and Miss Colepepprr ; Dexter and 
Mrs. Sebiiigiit ; and passengers. In tJie middle of dance, i. e., after 
galop, cry from the fore part of the ship — "£reaJcers ahead on the port 
bow,'" Tremendous crash, which sends all the passengers reeling. 

Hard, {seizing his trumpet at rail). Hard a-port — hard all — (^o Dexter) 
By heavens, doctor, she's ashore on the MazaiFa Reef ! 

Dex. Call the captain. I'll keep order here, (^another heavy sound is 
heard, and steam being let off.) 

Hard, {through the trumpet). Below there ! Reverse ! 

Dex. (snatching trumpet from him). Go ahead— rfull steam ! {to engine- 
room. To Hakdisty) If we back her, she may go down in deep water. 
{the ladies scream violently — all this passes very rapidly.) 



[ 36 THE OTEELAND EOtTTE. 

McT. ) Lower the boats ! 

Cole. 5 Mary ! keep close to tne ! {children scream from helow the sJcy- 
ligld — confusion on hoard — loomen run about in terror. ) 

Dex. [very loua). Silence, all, for your lives ! (a sudden pause) Be cool 
and obey orders, and ail shall be safe on shore in an hour's time. 

Enter Smart, e. c. 

Smart, Thank you for that, doctor ! {through the trumpet) Pipe han'ds 
to boat stations ! {boatswain' s whistle heard) Boat's crews stand by the 
tackle falls, ifhey do so) Lower away and keep off ! Carpenter's mates, 
stand by to cut away masts ! {Chinamen do so.) 

Hard, {coming up to Smart). She's heeling over fast. The starboard 
cabins are filling ! The doors are jammed ! The women and children 
will be drowned ! 

Dex. We must jump down and pass 'em up by the skylight ! Here 
goes to save the women and children ! {throws his coat off— jumps down 
into the skylight and passes up children.) 

Hard. Heads below ! {follows Dexter.) 

Miss C. Papa ! papa ! 

Mrs. S. {in terror). Mr. Colepepper ! Sir Solomon ! Oh, dear, wiU 
nobody save me ? 

Mrs. L. {to McTurk). Hector ! {tries to cling to him.) 

McT. {shaking both off). Hands off ! £50 for a place in the first boat! 

JEnter Lovibond and Moleskin, l. c. — they cross to r. — Lovibond sinks on 
the stage, flat on his back. 

Mrs. L. Augustus ! you'll save me 1 {crosses to him.) 
Lov. I can't swim in handcuffs ! 

Tableau. 



ACT IIL 



SCENE. — A coral reef coming down to the edge of the sea, which is seen in 
flat. ToTTLE discovered on guard over the stores, armed with a musket 
and cutlass — Hardisty sitting on a ease, making entries in pencil in a 
book. 

Dex. {calling from xoithin the tent). Four dozen soup and bouilli ! 

Hard, {writing in his book). Forty-eight S. and B. 

Dex. Three dozen roast beef. 

Hard. Thirty-six R. B. 

Dex. Two dozen and a half pheasants. 

Hard. Thirty pheas. 

Dex. Four dozen gelatine. < 

Hard Forty-eight gal. 

Dex. That finishes the preserved meats ; and now belay, Hardisty, till 
I calculate the distribution to the messes. 

Hard, {putting aioay his book). Well, lye shan't starve yet awhile, that's 
a comfort, {comes down, l.) 



ACT III. 37 

Enter Capt. Smaet — his arm in a sling — 1 e. e. 

Smart. Well, Hardisty 1 

Hard. On your pins again, captain 1 

Smart. Yes ; Dexter has patched me up. 1 thought it was all over 
with me, when that spar knocked me out of the chains. AVell, Tottle ? 

Tot. I'm on duty, captain — standing sentry over the stores— or I'd 
have made bold taask for a grip of your fist,~though ifs clean agin dis- 
cipline, I know. 
i Smart. Thanks, my good fellow. I'm glad to see everything looking 
so ship-shape. 

Hard. Ah ! we may thank Dexter for that. You may imagine the 
state of things on board after you were disabled. 

Smart. That I can — what, with lubberly Lascars, useless invalids, 
frightened women, and squalling babies. 

HaiH). Officers and quartermasters did their duty like Englishmen — 
the passengers behaved well on the whole— but Dexter was our life and 
soul. She struck at nine, and, thanks to him, we had every man, wo- 
man, and child ashore, tents rigged, passengers under cover, and all 
with a comfortable basin of soup in either hold by six in the morning. 

Tot. And that ain't half, captain. Why, he's collected the stores, 
settled the messes, regulated the allowances, parcelled out the duty. 
Blest if he ain't been steward, cook, and bottle-washer, to say nothing 
of purser, doctor, and loblolly boy. I never see such a beggar to turn 
his hand to things ! {goes up with Haedisty.) 

Enter Dextee from the tent, l. u. e. • 

- Dex. Belay there, Tottle ! or if you will sing my praises, sing 'em 
smaller. Well, Captain, 1 said, I should have you afloat again in three 
days, and here you are. 

Smart. Timbers a little battered ; but good for Lloyd's A. 1. list for 
many a year to come, (^shakes hands with him) Dexter, I owe you a life. 

Dex. Be as long as possible in paying me, then.- I hope you approve 
of our arrangements ? 

Smart. Couldn't be better. I say, how about provisions ? 

Dex. We've enough for a fortnight, at least, with care. 

Smart: And drinkables ? 

Dex. Ab ! we might be better off there. About forty dozen of beer, 
half as much claret 

Smart. But water? 
J Dex. Only two hogsheads. The first nearly expended in the three days 
we've been here — I mean to keep the last for the children and the sick. 

Smart. God help us all, if drink runs short ! 

Dex. Oh, never fear. I think I could manage to rig up a distilling 
apparatus out of the ship's coppers and a few musket barrels. Besides, 
after consultation with Hardisty, I've sent off the second oflBcer with 
the pinnance, to cruise about the Straits, in hopes they may pick up a 
steamer and send her to our relief. 

Smart. The best thing you have done yet — and everything you've 
done is good. By George ! Dexter, I feel ashamed to talre the command 
out of your hand. 

Dex. I don't mean you to — for a week yet, at least. I shall have you 
on your beam-ends again, if you go fagging about too soon. So be a 
good child, and go back to bye-bye. 

Smart. Not I ; I'm quite fit for duty, I tell you. 



38 THE OVEHLAND EOUXE. 

Dex. I know better. What ! you won't go quietly ? Here, Haraisty. 
(Hakdisty comes down, k. h.) Carry this naughty baby to bed. 

Hakd. Come, Captain. 

Smart. I suppose I must obey orders. God bless you, my fine fellow ! 
If prayers go the right road, you ought to be all safe up there, [pointing 
to heaven.) [Exit, r. h., leaning on Hardistt. 

Dex. There's no prayer like work, depend upon it, Captain. 

Enter Colepepper, l. 

Cole. My own theory, Doctor. But you illustrate it by practice* 
Here's my report of the stores washed up from the wreck this last tide. 
{gives paper.) 

Dex. {taking paper and glancing at it). One of the tanks of ice, I see. 
Just the thing for my eoitp-de-soleil patients. 

Cole. What a mercy it is we've so few sick. For my own part, I 
haven't felt half so well for the last twenty years. 

Drx. Because you've never thought half so little of yourself, or half 
so much of other people. Hard work to a good purpose is the best 
elixir vita I know. 

Cole. You're right, Mr. Dexter. Egad ! I feel equal to anything. I 
could roll up a harness-cask — light a fire — cook a copper of soup — 
knock kown Sir Solomon ! — Come ! what have you got for me to do this 
morning ? 

Dex. There's the wood to chop for the fire ; and the preserved meat 
tins to open for the mess rations. 

Cole. Oh ! that's mere laborer's work. Do you know. I think I could 
make a sea-pie. Do let me try my hand at a sea-pie. 

Dex. No ! that's high art. Your first is safe to be uneatable ; and we 
can't afford experiments. But I applaud your ambition. 

Cole. Ah ! Mr. Dexter, thanks to you for it — as for so much besides. 
My poor Mary,'but for your care that night 

Dex. [interrupting). Look ! Here comes Sir Solomon. He doesn't 
thrive on difficulty, like you. You must have observed the melancholy 
change in him 1 * 

Cole. Melancholy change ? You mean his silence 1 I call it the 
greatest change for the better I ever knew. 

Enter Sib Solomow, 3 e. l , down c, hisjawstied up with a handkei-chief — 
a boot on one foot and a shoe on the other — and looks generally dilapidat- 
ed and seedy. 

Dex. Why, Sir Solomon, (Sir Solomon hows) I hope you're not suffer- . 
ing from tooth-ache 1 (Sir Solomon shakes his head ruefiiUy, intimating that 
he is) Allow me to look at the peccant grinders. (Sir Solomon, with 
great eagerness, resists any attempt to look into Ms mouth.) 

Cole. Come, Sir Solomon, don't be down in the mouth. (Sir Solomon 
makes a grimace at the word mouth) Follow my example. Make yourself 
generally useful. 

Dex. Come, sir, we'd better look out the meat cans for to-day's ra- 
tions, (they go up to store tent, r. u. e.) 

Sir S. {speaking with difficulty; as he opens his mouth, an entire loss of 
teeth is apparent). Tooth-ache ! I wish I had ! Down in the mouth ! 
well I may be ! They may have been washed ashore. 

Enter Limpet, u. b. r., as if searching. He wears an old pair of red 
plush breeches. __^ 



ACT in. 39 

Found 'em, Limpet 7 

Limp, {m a mournful voice). No, Sir Solomon, I've walked all round 
the reef; but there's no signs on 'em. 

SiE S. Continue your search. [Exit Limpet, l., behind tent. 

Enter Mrs. Sebright, from the women's tent, b. She looks gay and cheerful, 
and wears a coquettish made-up costume, and handkerchief tied over her 
head. 

Mrs. S. Ah ! Good mornino:, doctor ; good morning, Mr. Colepepper. 
Hard at work, I see, as usual ; Sir Solomon, too. (Sir Solomon turns 
ruefully and bows) No ; he's not hard at work as usual, (laughs) Oh, dear ! 
Oh, dear ! You poor, dear, dilapidated man. Do let me take you into 
hospital and nurse you. What ! no reply ? Then you're an ungrateful 
monster I 

Sir Solomon intimates his thanks by signs, and strolls off sadly, e. v. b., Dex- 
ter and CoLEPEPPEE come down l. 

Mrs. S. I've developed such a talent for nursing since we were 
wrecked — haven't I , doctor 1 

Dex. That you have. Mr. Colepepper, I call this lady and your 
daughter my two sisters of charity. I expected a right hand in Miss 
Colepepper. but I confess 

Mks. S. You thought Jenny Sebright more ornamental than useful. I 
hope I've redeemed my character. 

Cole. You've not discarded the ornamental, I'm happy to see. That 
dress is monstrously becoming, 

Mrs. S. I'm glad you like it. I contrived it last night when 1 was 
sitting up with Mrs. Rabbits' babies. Little Polly's so much better this 
morning, doctor. 

Dex. Ah ! that means that you've attended carefully to my directions 
through the night 1 

Mrs. S. Oh, yes ! I gave her her draught every half hour. Poor little 
darling ! she was so thankful — and her poor sick mother, too. Oh ! 
doctor, how shall I ever thank you enough for teaching me how much 
pleasanter it is to wait than to be waited upon. 

Cole. AVhat ! youve learnt that lesson, too, my dear madam 1 

Mrs. S. Oh 1 doctor, it was so pitiful to hear the little darlings cry 
all through the night, " Water, water ! " Couldn't you allow 'em a pint 
a piece extra 1 

Dex. Impossible, I'm afraid. 

Mrs. S I'll give up half mine; so will Miss Colepepper, I'm sure; 
and Mrs. Lovibond ; and all of us. 

Dex. I've no objection to that. The more you give up, the better 
you'll thrive on what's left. But I've work for you down at the men's 
hospital. 

Mrs. S. Oh, I'm so glad ! What is it 1 

Dex. To attend on one of the steerage passengers. He had a coup-de- 
soleil yesterday, and is delirious this morning. I'm afraid of congestion. 
I want some one to keep applying ice to his head. He's an odd, mys- 
terious fellow— and nobody seems to care much about nuising him. 

Mrs. S. 1 shall be ready directly. I'll just go and see my little 
charges tucked up comfortably, and show Mrs. Rabbits' Ayah how to 
make arrowroot properly. I say, couldn't you allow me a leetle extra 
claret to mix with it, doctor ? 

Dex. {peremptorily). No ; I tell you ! 



40 THE OTEKLAND EOTTXE. 

Mrs. S. (eoaxingly). Only half a bottle ; and every drop of it for tnB 
babies, you know. 

Dex. Hang the woman ! she'd wheedle a boatswain's mate ! Here, 
Tottle ; serve out half a bottle of claret to Mrs. Sebright. 

Tot. Aye, aye, sir ! Here you are, ma'am. 

Mrs. S. {aside to Tottle). You can stop it off ray nest two days' al- 
lowance, you know, Mr. Tottle. {she goes up to store tent, l.) 

Cole. What a transformation ! 
' Dex. No ; what a revelation ! It was all there ; but it wanted the oc- 
casion to show itself. 

Cole Why, there wasn't a lady on board took so much waiting on ! 

Dex. Because there wasn't a lady on board who had so much offered 
her. And among the civilest of her civil servants were Sir Solomon and 
yourself. 

Cole. Im afraid I was very near making a fool of myself. {Exit Mrs. 
Sebright into tent, r.) But I've reflected since the wreck. Ah ! Mary. 

Enter Miss Colepeppee, r. She has a pretty extempore head-dress. 

Miss C. Dear papa ! {kisses him) Mr. Dexter — {shakes hands with him) 
how well papa's looking ; isn't he 1 

Dex. And you, Miss Colepepper. "Why, hardship seems to agree with 
your family. 

Miss C. Oh ! I knew papa would come out under difHculties. He 
always does. Bless him ! And with your example, Mr. Dexter, we 
should indeed be cowards to refuse what little help we can give. 

Dex. Then, sir, just show your daughter that ice they've got ashore. 
And you get a basket of it, {to Miss Colepepper) and bring it to me 
here. I'll walk down with you and Mrs. Sebright to the hospital, and 
show you how to use it. 

Cole, {going up to store tent). I'll get you a basket, my love. 

Miss C. {to Dexter). Oh! I'm so thankful that this accident has 
shown you papa in his true colors. 

Dex. Now, for the first time, I understand how you come to be father 
and daughter. Ah! Miss Colepepper, this is life— stripped to the bulF. 
In our artificial world men are so buckrammed, and padded, and corl»- 
soled by aids and appliances, that they neither show nor use their mus- 
cles. After all, we may have a few curs among us ; but, on the whole, 
Englishmen peel well ; don't they ? 

Miss C. And Englishwomen 1 

Dex. "What —you fishing for a compliment ! 

Cole {coming doivn with basket, l.). Here's the basket, Mary. The ice 
is only a few hundred yards along the reef. 

Miss C. Come along, papa, {crosses to him) I'll be with you again direct- 
ly, Mr. Dexter. [Exeunt Mr. andMiss, Colepepper, 1 e. l. 

Dex. Oh ! what a wife that girl would make ! It's enough to drive a 
fellow wild to think of her being wasted on a loose, idle, pleasure-loving 
gambler like Clavering ; and all because he's well-born, good-looking, 
and has heavy interest to bade him ! But to think of old Colepepper 
turning up such a trump! He can't know this Clavering's real charac- 
ter, or he'd jiever -But Mary doa't care a fig for him — that's a com- 
fort ! I've an enormous faith in women's wits and wills. 

Enter Mrs. Sebright, fron\ tent, r. 

Mrs. S. Thank you for the compliment. You so seldom pay one. 
Dex. And that wasn't meant for you. But, come; don't look vexed. 



ACT III. - 41 

I shall have a better account of you to give to Jack than I dared have 
hoped a week ago. Miss Colepepper is to walk down with us. She's 
gone for the ice with her old trump of a father. I say, how he has im- 
proved. 

Mrs. S. In all ways. Amongst others, he hasn't said a tender word 
to mc since we were wrecked. I suppose he's too busy — but it's a great 
comfort. 

Dex. And has Sir Solomon been equally sensible ? 

Mks. S. Ah ! he hasn't said a word to anybody — I can't think what's 
come over him ! 

Dex. Let's take the good sent us, and ask no questions. Sir Solomon 
is what Sydney Smith called — a brilliant flash of silence. 

Mrs. S. At all events, I begin to hope they've both given up thinking 
of poor me — I can meet Jack so happily now. 

Di'x. Remember, you'll have to give back Sir Solomon's diamonds, 
and Mr.^olepepper's shawl. 

Mrs. S. You spiteful creature ! As if I'd had any pleasure out of 
'em! Why, you've got both. But I'm so thankful you have. I feel 
very good now ; but there's no saying what such temptations might do 
— and, you know, we may have to live here all the rest of our lives — 
and then there'd be no Jack in the way. 

Dex. Here comes Miss Colepepper with the ice. 

Enter Miss Colepepper, 1 l. e. 

Miss C. Now then. Ah ! Mrs. Sebright, your smiling face Isn't a bit 
the worse for your night's nursing. Oh ! Mr. Dexter, if you'd seen her 
hushing those poor fretful babies ! , 

Mks. S. Not half so fretful as their poor mother— and you know you 
were up half the night with her. 

Dex. Come, I can't have any quarrelling over your respective good 
works. Hospital mates ! right face ; quick march ! {takes them both on 
his arm, and exits, 1 r. e.) 

Enter Limpet, 1 l. b. 

Limp. Not a trace of 'em ! Sir Solomon's teeth have been swallowed 
up in the jaws of the hocean ! Well, I hope they look better in the 
hocean's jaws, than they did in Sir Solomon's. I little thought, when 
my guv'nor came down by the run into the boat that night, that he'd 
knocked the whole set out of his head, as clean as a whistle. Well, it's 
a good job ! for he can't give so many borders as he used, nor talk such 
a d — d deal o' nonsense. 

Enter Mrs. Gkimwood, disconsolately, from the tent, b., with a cap in her 



Ah ! Mrs. Grimwood ! Good day, Mrs. Grimwood ! 

Grim. Oh, Mr. Limpet ! here's a melancholy situation. I couldn't ha' 
believed I ever should ha' got through three days of it. 

Limp. Nor me, neither, Mrs. Grimwood. And if master had been in 
his usual way, why, I couldn't — I couldn't. 

Grim. To think of people that's been used to their comforts having to 
pig in tents like gipsies, or so many Robinson Crusoes. 

Limp. No conveniencies for meals, nor nothing. 

GaiM. Not so much as a flat-iron, if I wanted to get up any little fine 



42 THE OTEKLAND EOTJTE. 

thing for myself, or my young lady. Here's a cap — rough-drying is the 
huttnost I can manage ! 

Limp. Ah ! when one reads of people being cast away on desolate hi- 
lands, one don't realize the 'ardships of it. I give you my word, I 
'aven't seen a comb or brush these three days. Just look at my head. 
[takes off hat.) 

Grim. And as I was below when the vessel struck — would you believe 
it ? — I had to come ashore without so much as a crinoline ! 

Limp. Well, I shouldn't have noticed it, if you hadn't spoke about it, 
Mrs Grimwood. 

Grim, [loohing at his red plash breeches). But — gracious 'evins ! wot's 
that? (pointing to them) You've never gone back to livery, Mr. Limpet 1 

Limp. What was a man to do 1 with his pantaloons a wreck, like the 
wessel 1 These disgusting things was washed on shore ; and I was 
thankful for 'em ! 

Grim. Ah ! 

Limp. But my guv'nor has lost suffen what's worse nor crinolines and 
pantaloons, Mrs. Grimwood, I can tell you ! 

Grim. What hever can that be, Mr. Limpet 1 

Limp. Well, he's lost — his teeth ! 

Grim. Real ? 

Limp. No ! they were not real ; but mineral succeed-in-of-em ! 

Grim- Gracious 'evins ! Poor gentleman ! Well, it ought to teach us 
submission. But — what's worse than all — to see one's missus so cheer- 
ful and heasy. and making the best of hercerything to that degree — it's 
enough to provoke a saint .' 

Limp. Ah ! Sir Solomon don't take that line, I can tell you. 

Grim. Would you believe it? she actually demeans herself to wait up- 
on the men in the hospital. Not gentlefolks, you know ; but common 
sailors and soldiers — and such like. 

Limp Ah ! misery — they say — makes a man acquainted with strange 
bed-fellows ! ' 

Grim, {offended). Really, Mr. Limpet ! 

Limp. Meaning, no ofience, Mrs. Grimwood ! 

Grim. Which if one is cast on a desolate hiland, and without the com- 
mon necessaries of life, one at least expects the respect due to a fe- 
male ! Bedfellows, indeed ! Bedfellows ! well, I'm sure ! 

Exit into tent k., offended. 

Limp. She hevidedtly turned up her nose. Well, there's such a thing 
as being nasty particular. Oh ! here comes Sir Solomon. I wonder if 
he's found his teeth 1 He mustn't catch me a philandering with the fe- 
males, and so I'll hook it. [Exit^ 1 e. l. 

Enter Sib Solomon, 1 e. r. 

Sir S. Can't see 'em anywhere. I've completed the round of the reef, 
and all in vain ! I must manage till we reach Cairo. I suppose there's 
a dentist there. These preserved meats are a mercy ! If we had been 
reduced to hard locusts and junk, I should have starved! I've lost 
everything, even my umbrella — and walking under the sun is highly dan- 
gerous to the brain. If I could jjrovide some substitute. Ha ! {finds 
a hamper lid) This, I think, with a little ingenuity, and a piece of rope- 
yarn — {adjusts the hamper lid on his head, like a mushroom h^at) Let me re- 
sume my search. [Exit, r. u. e. 

Enter Major MoTurk, J e. l. Re looks abject and dishevelled, and limps. 



ACT in. 43 

McT. This infernal corai cuts like a razor, and i escaped m my dress 
boots. What with the sun overhead and the reef under foot — and only- 
half enough to eat, and not near half enough to drink — I feel so low and 
poorly, {sits on a box, disconsolately) I'd hang myself, only there isn't a tree 
on the reef to fasten a rope to. What's half a bottle of beer for a fellow 1 
I can't bear it much longer. And such a lot stored away, yonder. I 
dare say Dexter helps himself, eh 1 There's only the sentry. Here ! 
sentry, I say ; 1 want to speak to you ! 

Tot. (^coming forivard, c). Aye, aye, sir! 

McT. I'm very bad, sentry ! 

Tot. Which my name's Tottle, sir. I ain't a soger, sir, I'm a steward, ' 

McT. Yes, Mr. Tottle, I remember. I'm dying for a drop of beer, or 
wine, or brandy— anything strong. There's lots in store ; nobody would 
know if we helped ourselves to a bottle apiece. (Tottle is silent) Perhaps 
you don't want one. In that case, suppose you let me bave both. I'd 
give you 9 five pound note — ten — twenty ! Say how much ? 

Tot. You white-livered son of a sea-cook ! Why, the very women 
ought to be let loose upon you, to scratch your eyes out ! You a man 1 

McT, {abjectly). Oh! don't be angry, Mr. Tottle; and don't speak so \ 
loud! I wasn't in earnest ; I wasn't indeed! I only wanted to try you. 

Tot. To try me ! If you don't deserve six dozen at the gangway, 
without trial, may I never crack another biscuit ! You mean, paltry 

McT. Oh ! Mr. Tottle, somebody will hear you ! 

Tot. I wish every soul on the reef could hear me. Be oflF! you poor, 
selfish, sniveling hound ! Be off ! or I'll drive my bayonet through your 
dirty carcass ! 

McT. Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! What shall I do ? 

Tot. Be off', I say ! 

McT. I m going, Mr. Tottle! [Exit McTurk, 1 l. e. 

Tot. And that's the chap that used to talk blood and thunder at the 
saloon table till you'd shake in your shoes to hear him. I suppose delir- 
ium trimmings will be the end o' him. 

Lev. {singing without). 

A light heart and a good pair of top boots 
Will go through the world, my brave boys. 

Tot. Why, if it ain't that 'ere Downy. Well, he thrives on half-allow- 
ance, surely. 

Enter Eovibond, 1 b. b. 

Ito-^r, Ah, Tottle, my boy ! how d'ye do ? 

Tot. Hearty, thank you, sir ! how are yeu 1 

Lov. That's your sort. I'm charming ; and the air of this watering- 
place makes me feel that it must be near breakfast time. 

Tot. Glad to see you've got your eatin' tackle aboard again, sir. 

Lov. Yes, Tottle, such delightful weather ; and such a nice open sit- 
uation as this is for enjoying the weather. 

Tot And how's that werry partic'lar friend o' yourn, sir ? 

Lov. Moleskin, eh 1 Oh, he's all right. Came ashore in his slippers 
— cut his feet all to pieces on the reef — can't walk a step, I'm happy to 
say. That's why he isn't with me, as usual ! I've got a capital pair of 
boots, you see. He wanted me to share 'em with him, but I declined — 
a pair of boots are like man and wife — they ought never to be divided. 
(Tottle goes up, l., laughing) And talking of man and wife, where'smine, 
I wonder % I told her I should pay her a visit this morning. Hoy, 
Clarinda ! 

Enter Mss. Lovibond, /rom tent, r. 



44 THE OVEKLAND EOUTE. 

Mrs L. Here, Augustus, dear 

Lov. " Here, Augustus, dear ! " but you weren't here. I particularly 
told you to be waiting for me, and when I tell you a thing, I mean you 
to do it, my dear. 

Mrs. L. I'm very sorry, dear. I was all ready, but I'd some poor 
creatures to attend to in the tent. 

Lov. You had one poor creature to attend to out of the tent, and that 
is your Augustus ! 

Mrs. L. I'll be careful not to keep you waiting another time, dear. 

Lov. Oh, I'm not angry, Clarinda ; I'm too happy to be angry ! Only 
think, that poor devil, Moleskin, limped dreadfully yesterday. But he 
can't stir a peg to-day, without my boots ; and, of course, I know better 
than to lend him them. 

Mrs. L. Oh, I'm so glad to see he's taken off the handcufifs ! 

Lov. He couldn't help himself. 1 declared if he didn't take 'em off, 
I wouldn't fetch him his rations. In short, my dear, for to-day, at least, 
I'm master of the situation. 

Mrs. L. How delightful! We can have such a nice ramble about the 
reef together. I've so much to tell you — ten years arrears, you know, 
to make up. 

Lov. You won't be jealous 1 

Mrs. L. No, dear ; I hope I've got over that folly. 

Lov. When I first made myself known to you, I craned at it tremend- 
ously. 

Mrs. L. Craned, dear. 

Lov. Yes, I was frightened, my love. But now I'm satisfied it was 
the best day's work I ever did in my life. You don't bully, and you 
ain't jealous. You always were a duck of a lady, if it hadn't been for 
your little peculiarities in that way — and now — by Jove, Clarinda, you're 
perfection ! 

Mrs. L. Oh, Augustus, how happy you make me by saying that! So 
long as you continue of that way of thinking, I never can be jealous ! 

Lov. And so long as you're not jealous, I shall continue of that way 
of thinking. Yes, Clarinda, I've made a very pretty little fortune in 
Singapore. And how we will enjoy it together ! I've sowed my wild 
oats ! 

Mrs. L. Augustus, love ! 

Lov. Mine have been a very mild crop, I can assure you. 

Mrs. L. And mine have never been sowed at all ! 

Lov. Then I value you all the more for it. If you've been faithful to 
the memory of your Augustus, what will you be to the amiable reality 1 
I see before us a long vista of matrimonial felicity, dotted, at intervals, 
with little Lovibonds. But, oh, gracious I {suddenly crestfallen) I'm for- 
getting the felon, Downy, all this time — my infernal alias — who knows 
if the rest of my existence mayn't be dragged out in a penal settlement ? 

Mrs. L. Oh, surely you must be able to prove an alibi ? 

Lov. I don't "see my way to it. I've heard the strong points of the 
case against me put forward so continually for the last three days by 
the indefatigable Moleskin, that I begin to believe I'm safe to be con- 
victed by any intelligent jury of my countrymen. 

Mrs. L. Let's hope you won't have an intelligent jury, dear. 

Lov. I think that highly probable. Now, leave me to steel my mind 
for the worst ! So, kiss me quick and go, my honey. 

Mrs. L. I'll do anything you bid me, dear. Good-by till you see me 
again. _ [Exit, k. tent. 

Lov. Now, I call that a woman; and since she's so changed — she's an 
angel— better than an angel ! She hasn't any wings to fly away with ; 



ACT III. 45 

and she has something to sit down upon ! But, no ; let me not indulge 
in idle levity. Let me call up mental pictures of myself as a convict, or 
as a bleeding victim under the bullet of Major McTurk. {goes tmuards the 
sea) Let me wander by the sad sea wave, and contemplate. There lies 
our noble vessel, all on one side, like an ill-roasted egg. What's that, I 
wonder, glittering on the sand'? Snuff-box, I hope; soap-dish, I fear; 
(^picJcs up Sir Solomon's set of teeth) teeth, by jingo ! Now, somebody 
must be uncommonly inconvenienced by the loss of them. I'll be mag- 
nanimous — I'll advertise 'em. No ; I won't do that, because we're very 
short of provisions. Yes, I will. Here, Tottle, a pen, ink, and paper. 
Tot. Aye; aye, sir ! {gets them, and puts them on box, l.) 
Lov. {tvritesy Lost — no ! Found, a set of artificial teeth. They may 
be had by the owner applying to Augustus Lovibond. Confound it, 
though! I'm known among the passengers in general as Downy. I 
suppose I must sign that hated name. There ! {fixes the paper on the 
spar, by tli^side of the gong) And now to chew the bitLer cud of fancy till 
breakfast time. [Exit, 1 e. r. 

Enter Colepepper, 1 e. l. 

Cole. So, that's off my mind. I've told Clavering the difficulty about 
my accounts — and he cries off! All the better. How shall I break it 
to poor Mary, though ? She used to fancy this Clavering a hero. I'm 
glad, too, that I've had the wisdom to break off with the pretty widow. 
What would she have thought if she had found herself married to some 
eight lacs of debt to Government 7 And the poor little thing hked me 
— that was clear. But those infernal vouchers ! No ! as a man it is my 
duty to give up all idea of the widow. 

Enter Miss Colepepper, 1 e. r. 

Miss C. Ah, papa, deai-, I met Captain Clavering as I came along, 
looking so blank and gloomy. He merely bowed to me as he passed. 

Cole. My darling are you brave enough to bear a great shock? 

Miss.C. Any shock you can give me, I'm sure. 

Cole. Captain Clavering has proposed for you. 

Miss C. Oh, papa ! 

Cole. As a man of honor, I felt it my duty to tell him the position of 
my unsettled accounts. 

Miss C. I know — those vouchers. 

Cole. I offered him an opportunity of renewing his offer. 

Miss C. {eagerhj). And he 

Cole. Nerve yourself, darling • 

Miss C. I am nerved, sir. Oh, speak ! He renewed it? 

Cole. No ; he declined. 

Miss C. Thank heaven ! {drawing a deep breath as if relieved.) 

Cole. What 1 you are not distressed to hear it 1 

Miss C. Oh, you have taken such a load off my mind ! T dreaded that 
offer — [ feared you would favor Captain Clavering's suit. I once 
thought him all a man should be. You watched our intimacy while I 
lived in that delusion — I have learned better now. 

Cole. My dear girl ! you've taken a load off my heart ! With what a 
light heart I shall go to chop the wood to boil the soup ! [Exit, 1 e. l. 

Miss C. Free at last! Free to let my heart follow the path it has 
been struggling so hard to take, yet dare not ! He is here ! 

Enter Dextek, 1 E. E. 



46 XHE OTEKLAND SOUXE." 

Dex. I've come to tell you it's nearly time for you to release Mrs. Se- 
bright. She has been managing her rebellious subject capitally. Don't 
be frightened at his ravings. For a delirious patient, or a kicking horse, 
there's nothing like a lady's hand. 

Miss C. Oh, I feel happy enough this morning to face a whole legion 
of lunatics ! 

Dex. Indeed ! you do look radiant ! 

Miss C. If you knew what good reasons I have. But are you not my 
best friend ? Ought you not to know my happiness 1 

Dex. That's for you to answer — not me. 

Miss C. Yes; you shall know it. Captain Clavering has-withdrawn 
his pretensions to my hand. 

Dex. I'm glad to hear it — for your sake ! He's a gambler — and all 
gamblers are mean, selfish, and unprincipled. 

Miss C. His conduct proves you have measured him right. He with- 
drew because papa told him of the Government claims against him, on 
account of the vouchers he lost in the mutiny. 

Dex. The vouchers! Then Sir Solomon's story was not a calumny. I 
really beg his pardon. But about these vouchers 1 If recovered, they 
would set your father straight with the Government 1 

Miss C. Yes. 

Dex. See, Miss Colepepper, what comes of people standing too much 
on their dignity ! When I called on your father in Calcutta, it was 
mainly that I might restore to him a box vf papers, which I had recov- 
ered from the mutineers, and which I believe to have contained the very 
vouchers — the want of which may ruin him. 

Miss C. Is it possible ? But where is that box. now 1 

Dex. Under twenty fathoms of Red Sea water, and the stevedores only 
know how many tons of luggage. It went down aboard the Simoon. 

Miss C. Oh, hard chance. But we must face our fate without them. 
It will not be a harder one than 1 can bear. I am sure you have seen 
both papa and I. can encounter hardship, {crosses, r.) "But I'm forgetting 
poor Mrs. Serbright. Good-bye ! Think of me as a free and happy 
woman. [JSfeiV, 1 e. e. 

Dex. Tottle ! You remember a black box of mine 1 

Tot. Yes, sir. I thought to myself — when I see you with that and a 
carpet-bag — well, that's the lightest lot of luggage ever came aboard a P. 
and 0. boat, homeward bound. 

Dex. Do you remember where it was stowed ? 
: Tot In the after-hold, sir. 
i Dex. What water's over that part of her, do you think ? 

Tot. About ten fathom, sir. 

Dex. All right. Look* me out a dry suit of clothes, and bring them 
down to the beach when I hail. If anybody asks for me, say I t-liall bo 
back soon. If perseverance and headers can do it, 1 5»«2/ bring up tliose 
vouchers yet. [Exit, l. u. e. 

Enter Mrs. Sebkight, r. 

Mrs. S. Tottle, where's the doctor 1 
Tot. Gone, ma'am. He'll be back soon. 
Mks. S. I want to report my patient. 

Enter Lovibond in reflection, 1 E. R." 

Mr. Lovibond. {faces him and addresses him sharply) stand and deliver ! 
Lov. Good gracious, Mrs Sebright, I was ruminating. 
Mrs. S. V/hat a very vaccine occupation ! But I'm very angry with 



ACT III. 47 

ydu. You never came to the hospital, as you promised. I've had so 
much on these poor unassisted httle hands. 

Lov. {kissing them). Let me add the weight of that to their burdens. 

Mrs. S. You mustn't. 

Lov. Oh, yes I may — my wife says I may — and when a man's wife 
says he may — he may. 

Mks. S. You wouldn't think, to look at them, that they had been hold- 
ing Aown a raving maniac ! Such a strong uian, too ! 

L(jv. I should think you likeher to make madmen, than to manage 
them! 

Mrs. S. Don't talk nonsense ! Only think, my patient mixed your 
name up in his ravings. It was all a jumble of Lovibond and Downy — 
and how he was Downy and you weren't, and you were — and how he'd 
done the detective and a black leather bag — and bills, and money hidden 
away on the reef— and wanting me to let him go to dig it up and hide it 
again. » 

Lov. {through this speech has betrayed the liveliest signs of emotioii). De- 
scribe your patient. 

Mrs. S. a plain man — about your size — in fact, a good deal like you 
altogether. 

Lov. With a large scar on his right temple 1 

Mes. S. Yes; do you know him? 

Lov. [sits down and begins taking off his boots). Mrs. Sebright, I want 
you— I M'ant you to put on these boots. 

Mrs. S. No; I can't do that. 

Lov. No ; I don't mean that. May I trouble you to take these boots 
to Mr. Moleskin, with my compliments, and beg him to put them on, 
and to walk down to the hospital and listen to the ravings of your pa- 
tient, and act accordingly. 

Mks. S. What do you mean 1 

Lov. Never gou mind my meaning. Only carry my message, (crosses c._, 

Mrs. S. Is he mad, too 1 

Lov. No, he isn't; but he shortly will be if you don't do what he 
asks you. 

Mrs. S. Well, I'll go ; but 

Lov. But you want to be paid for your good news, I suppose? and 
there ! [seizes her in his arms, and commences hugging and kissing her.) 

Sinter Mks. Lovibond, /row te^zt, r. 

Mrs. L. Augustus ! 

Lov. I'm a child of impulse, Clarinda! You're «o< jealous. 

Mrs. S. No ! but she has the common feelings of a woman ! My dear 
Mrs. Lovibond, I sympathize with you. 

Lov. Now, don't stop to do that. Only carry my message. Insist on 
his putting on the boots, whether they fit him or not. Say it's to fur- 
ther the ends of justice, and he'll get into 'em if he grows a crop of 
corns for the rest of his life. I'll have another kiss if you don't go ! 

Mrs. S. Mad — raving mad ! another coup-de-soleil ! 

Lov. Nay, then ! (rushes at her again.) 

Mrs. S. Oh, Lord ! (screams and runs off, 1 e. r.) 

Mrs. L. [falling on a packing-case, and sobbing hysterically). Augustus ! 
if you're not insane, I am the most miserable of women. 

Lov. On the contrary ; [ am sane, and you're the happiest of your 
sex \ She's found the real Downy 1 

Mrs. L. Is it possible % 



48 THE OYEllLAND EOUTE. 

Lov. He must have shipped in the steerage under one of his many 
ahases, 

Mes. L. But how has he betrayed himself 1 

Lov. He's gone beside himself; and the insane half of him has split 
upon the other. Well, now I am free and easy ! 

Mrs. L. That you certainly were, just now, with Mrs. Sebright — you 
were kissing her. 

Lov. Was I ? Well, I'll kiss you and balance the books. 

Mrs. L. Let us run and tell this good news to Mr. Dexter. 

Lov. By all means, [suddenly feels the sharp coral under his fee€) 0, I 
forgot I'd sent Moleskin my boots — 1 can't stir. This is the most nub- 
bly spot in the island. 

Mrs. L. Mr. Dexter must be the first to congratulate us. Now, don't 
you move. [Exit 1 e. l. 

Lov. It's all very well to say don't move, I can't. This is the most 
nubbly spot on the island! This blessed news has confused my naturally 
lucid intellect. Let me reflect! If it wasn't for that fire-eating McTuik, 
my horizon would be all serene ! Ha ! somebody coming ! McTurk ! 
Oh! heavens! Let me conceal myself. He's capable of calling me 
out on the spot, {hides himself in tent, k.) 

Enter McTurk, 1 e. i. 

McT. It's no use — ^in spite of that brutal Tottle, I can't resist the temp- 
tation of the liquor — I must have some — beg, borrow, or steal. 

Dex. {without). Tottle, ahoy ! 

Tot. Muster Dexter a-hailing. Here's his dry togs ! Aye, aye, sir. 

[Exit, L. u. E. , 

McT. Sentinel off his post ! Now's my time ! {steals up to store tent — 
rushes in — seizes a couple of bottles from store, l., and is retreating 1 e. r , 
when LoviBOND, who has been watching him, jumps up and seizes him by the 
collar. ) 

Lov. No,' you don't, though you were ten times McTurk! 

McT. Oh, mercy ! mercy ! 

Lov. Drop those bottles, sir ! I saw you take them. 

McT. {passionately). I couldn't resist it — I feel so weak — I've such a 
cra,ving for it ! Oh, sir, let me go, and don't tell 'em, 'sir, don't; I shall 
be disgraced — cashiered. I'm a gentleman, sir — an oflicer. 

Lov. Is this the fire-eater I was afraid of? Listen ! I'm Mr. Lovi- 
bond, the gentleman you had the impudence to challenge. 

• McT Oh, 1 beg your pardon, sir I Only let me go, and" I'll make any 
apology ! 

Lov. There ! I forgive you ! Put back that beer. For shame of j^ou ! 
to try to rob a poor man of his beer ! (McTurk maJces an agonized gesture 
of entreaty, but quails under Lovibond's eye, and sneaks up to the tent, re- 
placing the bottles, and exit, 1 e. l.) Poor, abject wretch ! He deserves 
pity more than punishment. 

Enter Miss Colepepper, 1 e. h. 

Miss C. Mr. Lovibond, what is the meaning of the strange scene that 
has just passed in the hospital 1 Mrs. Sebright came in with your friend. 

Lov. I know — Moleskin ! Then the boots did fit him ? 

Miss C. They seized that poor lunatic— searched him — took him out 
of his bed to a neighboring spot— to which in the btrength of his frenzy, 
he led the way faster than they could follow. I followed. They dug up 
something from the sand, and brought him back exhausted— but calmer. 



ACT III. 49 

Lov. {danGing). Huzza ! huzza ! huzza ! Downy's done, at last ! 
Enter Dextee, l. tr. e., with a small hlack box. 

Dex. Miss Colepepper, {puts box in her hand) your fathei-'s vouchers. 

Miss C. Mr. Dexter, you have risked your hfe for them ! 

Dex. {coolly). Oh, dear! no. Only wetted a suit of clothes. I dive 
like an otter. Take them to your father. 

Miss C. Yes ; but in your name : {crosses l.) How often are you to he 
our pi-eserver 1 [Exit, 1 e. c. 

Dex. It's time to serve out the rations, {goes up to tent l., and strikes 
gong) Tottle! 

Ikter Mks. Lovibond, 1 e. l. 

Mes. L. I can't find that dear doctor. 

Enter Colepepper, and Miss Colepepper, l., crosses to Dextek. 

Lov. {down on heru. side). Because you would go to look for him. It'a 
all right, doctor ! The real Downy's discovered ! it's your mad patient ! 

Cole. God bless you, sir ! Mary has told me all. You have saved our 
good name ! 

Dex. Who was the fool who said " Chance ruled the world 1" 

Enter Smart, Haedistt, Mrs. Rabbits, Limpet, Ghimwood, Ayahs — ■ 
Passengers, male and female, Children, Lascars, Sailors, etc. 

Dex. Now, then, ladies first. Come forward in the order of your 
messes. (Sir Solomon gives a strange cry without) Hollo ! 

Sib Solomon rushes in 1 e. r., wild and excited — his basket lid tumbling over 
his eyes — the handkerchief which bound his Jaws ivaviiig in his hand — he 
gesticulates with vain efforts to speak articulately. 

Dex. Another coup-de-soleil! Get him down — put a quantity of ice on 
his head ! 

Sir S. {speaking with difficulty). Not — sun stroke — steamer 

Dex. What does he say 1 Can anybody make it out 1 

[down L. of Colepepper 

Lov. {rushing forward). Oh, I know the physic he wants ! Open your 
mouth. ( produces the artificial teeth.) 

Sib Solomon snatches teeth and goes up and turns his back to audience and 
places them in his mouth and begins to speak volubly. 

Limp, Master's minerals at last, I do declare ! Well, I'm glad he's got 
his teeth again, for they're not only white but they never ache ! 

Sir S. As 1 have recently been unable to enjoy the pleasure of social 
intercourse, owing to the inconvenient ch-cumstance 

Dex. Hang it, Sir Solomon, cut it short ! You can't be allowed to pay 
out all your arrears at once. 

Sir S. Well, then, to cut it short, there is a steamer making for the 
reef. 

All. Hurrah ! hurrah ! hurrah ! [display the wildest signs, of joy. All 
turn to face the sea — Lovibond up a little — Dexter seizes a glass and looks 
02<<— Smart and Hardisty do the same — the crowd give way for them.) J_ 



50 THE OVERLAND KOtTXE. 

Enter Mrs. Sebright and MoiiESKiN, e., crosses to Lovibond, l. 

Mrs. S. What's that I hear? a steamer ? {ffoes up to crowd, c.) 
Mole, {to Lovibond) I've got him ! It's Downy, sm-e enough, 
Lov. Of course it is ! Now I'll trouble you for those boots. 
Mole. They're so damp I can't get 'em off. [Exit Moleskin, 1 e. l. 
Lov. He's gone off with my boots ! 

Mrs. L. I'll follow him and make him give them up. (Exit, 1 e. l., re- 
turns immediately with one hoot) I've only got one, dear. 
Drx. Do you make her out, captain"? 
Smart. The man-of-war steamer " Blazer." 
Mrs. S. Jack's vessel ! {jumps with joy, then half faints.) 

Sib Solomon and Colepepper rush up and support her — the passengers and 
others are watching the steamer — Dexter and MisS Colepbppeb eon- 
verse apart. 

Cole. Give her air, sir, can't you ? 

Sir S. Give her air yourself ! I insist on my right of supporting this 
lady. 

Cole. On the contrary, sir, I claim that as my exclusive privilege. 

Sir S. By what title, sir "? 

Cole. As her intended husband. 

Sir S. That, sir, is the foundation of my claim. 

Cole Pooh, sir ! 

Sir S. Pooh to you, sir ! 

Cole. She revives— ask her*? 

Sir S. My pretty Jane 

Cole. My dearest Jane 

Mrs. S. (extricating herself ). Gentlemen, you mastn't— 

Sin S. You accepted my diamonds— accept me ! 

Cole. Diamonds ! (contemptuously) My shawl and my hand with it! 

Mrs. S. Oh, Mr. Dexter! (I)bx.ter doivn c.) I thought it was all right, 
and here it is as bad as ever again ! Will you explain ? 

Dex. Not I — do your own explanations. 

Mrs. S. Then, gentlemen, I'm sorry I can't have either of you I 

Sir S. ) You can't 1 

Cole. ]Whj1 

Mrs. S. I've neither hand nor heart to give. I gave both, long ago, to 
Jack. 

Sir S. Jack t 

Cole. Who's Jack 1 

Miss. C. Mr. Dexter has explained all to me — this lady is married 
already ! 

^'^ ^- I Married ! 
Cole. 5 

Sir S. But my diamond necklace, madam ? 

Cole. Keep my shawl as a wedding gift. 

Mrs. S. Thanks, Mr. Colepepper ! Sir Solomon, I'm sorry I haven't 
got your diamonds ! 

Sir S. You haven't ! Who has? 

Dex. I have! 

Sir S. a lightbegins to dawn on me. (to Colepepper) Of course, this 
is Jack? {pointing ^o Dexter.) 

Cole. Of course, it is ! How blind I've been ! 

Dex. No, Mr. Colepepper, my affections are better bestowed than on 
Jenny Sebright — good little soul as she is — for all her feather head I 



ACT Til. 51 

Cole. What ! you are not Jack ? And you don't love Mrs. Sebright 1 
and you do love somebody elsel Why, then, it can only be — [looks at 
Mart.) 

Dex. It is, sir ! 

Cole. Take her, my boy ; you've won her fairly ! 
_ Dex. And with Heaven's help, as fairly will I wear her. (embrace.) 
'Sir S. But my diamonds, sir 7 

Dex. {aside). Which you accepted from the Nawaub of Ramshackle- 
gur. 

Sir S. How do i/ou know ? I mean, how dare you insinuate 1 

Dex. I don't insinuate; I assert! 

Sir S. Only hold your tongue! I make a present of them to your 
wife! 

Dex. Mj" wife wears no diamonds less pure than her own bright eyes. 
I keep the necklace to return it to its lawful owner. I owe the poor 
Nawaub some compensation for the physic I gave him. 

Cole. ^But, after all, we've never heard who Jack is ! 
I Smart. A boat from- the steamer ! {shout.) 

Enter Captain Sebright, Sailors, etc. 

Mrs. S. Jack ! {she rushes into Jack Sebright' s arms.) 
All. Hurrah ! hurrah ! hurrah ! 

TABLEAU. 



PROPERTIES. 



Three dusters, for Stewards ; cups and saucers for tea ; glasses and soda water ; 
telescope ; list of dinner places ; note-book ; card for Dbxteb ; pith cap and um- 
brella : stick and umbrella ; novel ; shawl ; footstool ; cushion ; bird-cage ; shawl ; 
brandy bottle ; worn letter, for Mks. Lovibond ; diamond necklace and case ; 
towel, for Lovibond ; box of pills ; vial of medicine ; sticking plaster ; several 
boxes and trunks of luggage ; hat-case ; portmanteau ; legal papers ; cigar ; hand- 
cuffs ; card ; lamps for companionway ; trumpet ; boatswain's whistle ; barrels ; 
cases ; bottles ; meat cans ; flag ; musket ; cutlass ; market basket ; hamper ; set 
ot teeth ; several bottles ; small black box ; small looking-glass. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

E. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R, C. Right 
of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across 
theback of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in 
the Flat; L. C. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door ; 1 B 
First Entrance ; 2 E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First 
Second or Third Groove. 

R. R. C. C. R. C. L. 

B®" The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. 



De Witt's Acting Plays— Continued. 



Na 

49. The Midnight 'Watch. Drama. 1 Act. 

By John M. Morton. 8 Male, 2 Female Char- 
acters. 

50. Xhe Porter's Knot. Serio-Comic Drama. 

2 Acts. By John Oxenford. 8 Male, 2 Female 
Characters. 

61. A Model for a Wife. Farce. 1 Act. By 
Alfred Wigau. 3 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

Bt. A Cnp of Tea. Comedietta. 1 Act. By 
Charles Nuitter and J. Derley. 3 Male, 1 Fe- 
male Cliaracters. 

53. Oertrude*s Money-Dox. Farce. 1 Act. 

liy Harry Lemon. 4 Male, 2 Female Characters. 

54. The Young Collegian^ Farce. 1 Act. 

By T. W. Kobertaoii. 3 Male, 2 Female Char- 
acters.-. 

6B. Cathdvine Hotvard; or, The ThrOne, the 
Tomh and the Scaffold. Historic Flay. 3 Acts. 
By \y. D. Suter. 12 Male, 5 Female Characters. 

56. T«-o «ay Deceivers; or, Black, White 
an d Gray. Farce. 1 Act. By T. W. Robert- 
son. 3 Male Characters. 

67. iVoeinie. Drama. 2 Acts. By T. W. Rolwrt- 

son. 4 i\Iale, 4 Female Characters. 

68. Oeborah fLeah) ; or, The Jewisli Maiden's 

Wrons. Drama. 3 Acts. By Chas. Smith 
Cheltnam. 1 Male, U Female Characters. 

69. The Post-Boy. Drama. 2 Acts. By H. T. 

Craven. 5 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

60. The Hidden Hand; or, The Gray Lady of 

Forth Vennon. Drama. 4 Acts. By Tom 
Taylor. 5 Male, S Female Characteis. 

61. Plot and Passion. Drama. 3 Acts. By 

Tom Taylor. 7 JIale, 2 Female Characters. 

62. A Photographic Fix. Farce. 1 Act. By 

Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female Charac- 
ters. 

63. Marriage at any Price. Farce. 1 Act. 

By J. P. Wooler. 5 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

64. A Household Fairy. A Domeslic Sketch. 

1 Act. By Francis Talfourd. 1 Male, 1 Fe- 
male Characters. 

65. Checkmate. Comedy Farce. 2 Acts. By 

Andrew Halliday. 6 Male, 5 Female Charac- 
ters. 

66. The Orange Cirl. Drama, in a Prologue 

and 3 Acts. By Henry Leslie. 18 Male, 4 Fe- 
male Characters. 

67. The Oirth-place of Podgers. Farce. 

1 Act. ijy John Hollingshead. 7 Male, 3 Fe- 
male Characters. 

68. The Chevalier de St. George. Di'ama. 

S Acts. ByT. W. Robertson. 9 Male, 3 Fe- 
male Char arte—. 

69. Caught bj t.<te Cuff. Farce, 1 Act. By 

Frederick H \y. 4 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

70. The Bonnie Fish Wife. Farce. 1 Act. 

ByCkarles Selby. 3 Male, 1 Female Characters. 

71. Doing for the Best. Domestic Drama. 2 

Acts. ByM. KaphinoLacy. 5 Male, 3 Female 
Characters, 

72. A Liame Excuse. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- 

erick Hay. 4 Male, 2 Female Charactew. 

73. Fettered. D -ama. 3 Acts. By Watts Phil- 

lips. 11 .Male, 4 Female Characters. 

74. The Carriclc Fever. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J. U. Planche, 7 Male, 4 Female Characters. 
7i>. Adrienne. Drama. 3 Ads. By Henry Leslie. 

7 Male, 3 Female Cliaracters. 
78. Chops of the Channel. Nautical Farce. 

lAct. By Frederick Hay. 3 Male, 2 Female 

Characters. 

77. The K oil of the Drum. Drama. S Acts. 

By Thomas EKerton Wiiks. 8 Male, 4 Female 
Characters. 

78. Special Performances. Paice. 1 Act. 

By Wilmot Harrison. 7 Male, 3 Feaiale Char- 
acters, 
7«. A Sheep in ^Voirs Clothing. Domestic 
Drama. 1 Ac*. By Tom Taylor. 7MaJe,5 
Female Characters. 



No. 

SO. A Charming Pair. Farce. 1 Act. By 
Thomas J. WilliaKas. 4 Male, 3 Female Char- 
acters. 
61. ITandyUe Brown. Farce. 1 Act, By A. 
C. Troughton. 3 Male, 3 Female Chai-acters. 

82. Peep o' Day ; or, Savourneen Dheelish. 

(New Drury Lane Version. ) Irish Drama. 4 
Acts. By Edmund Falconer. 12 Male, 4 Fe- 
male Characters. 

83. Thrice Married. Personation Piece. 1 

Act. By Howard Paul. s Male, 1 Female 
Characters. 

84. Wot Ouilty. Drama. 4 Acts. By Watts 

Phillips. ID Male, 6 Female Characters. 

85. Locked in with a Lady. Sketch from 

Life. By H. R. Addison. 1 Male, I Female 
Characters, 

86. The Lady of Lyons; or. Love and Pride. 

(The Fecliter Version.) Play. 5 Acts. By 
Lord Lytton, 10 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

87. Locked Out. Comic Scene. 1 Act. By 

Howaril Pavl. 1 Male, 1 Female CliJ^racters. 

88. Founded on Facts. Farce. 1 Act. By 

J.P. Wooler. 4 Male, 2 Female Character*. 

89. Aunt Charlotte's Maid. Fa>-»e. 1 Act, 
By J, M, Morton. 3 Male, 3 Female Charao- 



tei- 



90. 



91. Walpole; or. Every Man has hia Price. 

Comedy in Rhyme. 3 Acts. By Lord Lyttojl. 
7 Male. 2 PeniMle Characters. 

92. My 1V5Se's Out. Farce. 1 Act. By G. 

Herbert Kodwfll. 2 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

93. The Area Belle. Farce. 1 Act. By William 

Brongli and Andrew Halliday. 3 Male, 2 Fe- 
niate Characters. 

94. Our Clerks ; or. No. 3 Fig Tree Court Tem 

pie. Farce. 1 Act. 7 Male, 5 Female Cliar- 
acters. 

95. The Pretty Horse Breaker. Farce. 

1 Act. By William Brough and Andrew Halli- 
day. 3 Male, 10 I'emale Characters. 

96. Dearest Mamma. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By Walter Gordon. 4 Male, 3 Female Charac- 
ters. 

97. Orange Blossoms. Comedietta. 1 Act. 

By J. f . Wooler. 3 Male, 3 Female Characters. 

98. '*Vho is "%/Vhot or, All in a Fog. Farce. 

lAct. By Thomas J. Williams. 3 Male, 2 P'- 
male Characters, 

99. The Fifth Wlieel. Comedy. 3 Acta. 10 

Male, 2 Female Characters, 
100. Jack Long ; or. The Shot in the Eye. Drama. 

2 Acts. By J. B. Johnstone. 5 Male, 1 Femalo 
Characters. 

101. Fernande. Drama. 3 Acts. By Viotorieo 
Sardou. 11 Male, 10 Female Characters. 

102 Foiled. Drama. 4 Acta. By 0. W. Cornish ■ . 
8 Male, 3 Female Characters 

103. Faust ond Marguei-Itte, Drama. 3 

Acts. By T. W. Robertson. 9 Male, 7 Female 



Which of the Two. Comedietta. 1 Act 
By John M Morton, '.i .Male. 10 Female Charaoterg 

Up for tlie ("Bttl'- Show. Faroe. 1 Act 
By Barry Lemon. 6 Male. 2 Female Characters 

Cupboard JjOVe. Farce. 1 Act. By Fred- 
erick Hay 'J. lu.i.u. 1 Fcmilo Characters 

Mr. t'orogt III". Farce. 1 Act. By William 
Hancock. 3 M ale . ,'> Fe nalc Characters 

By J. P. 

Poppleton'o Predlcarnei'ts. Faroe. 1 
Act. By Ch-rles M . itae. 3 Male, 6 Female Char- 

The Uar. Comedy. 2 Acts. By Sam'lFoote. 
Altered and adapted by Charles Matthews. 7 Male 
and 2 Female Characters. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



De Witt's Acting Pla 




No 

112. Not a Bit Jealous. A Farce, in 1 Act. By 
T. W. Robertson. 3 Male, 3 Female characters 

113. Cyril's Suecess. Comedy, in 5 Acts. By H. 
J. Byron. 9 Male, 5 Female characters. 

114. Anything lor a Change. Petitt Comedy, 
in 1 Act. By Shirley Broolss. 3 Male, 3 Fe^ 
male characters. 

. New Men and Old Acres. C'-medyjin 3 

Acts. By Tom Taylor. S Male, 5 Female char- 
acters. 
, I'm not Meslli at all. An Original Irish 
Stew. By C. A. Makby. S Male, 2 Female 
characters 

, Not Such a Fool as he Looks. Farcical 
Drama, in 3 Acts. By H. J. Byron. 5 Male, 4 
Female characters. 

, Wanted, a Touiig Lady. Farce, in 1 Act. 
By yv . E. Sutir. 3 Male characters. 

.A Life Chase. Drama, in 5 Acts. By John 
Oxenford. 14 Male, 5 Female characters 

. A Tempest in a '1 ea Pot. Petite Comedy, 
in 1 Act. By Thomas Picton. 2 Male, 1 Fe- 
male cliaraclers 

, A Comical Counte-s. Farce, in 1 Act. By 
William Brough . 3 Male, I Female characters 

. Isabella Orslnl. RomanticDrama,in4Acts- 
By S. 1-1. Moseuthal. 1 1 Male,4 Female charac- 
ters 

. The Two Poets. Farce. By Jolia Court- 
nay. 4 Male, 4 Female characters 

. The Volunteer Review. A Farce. By 
Thomas J. Williaiyr, Esq. 6 Male, b Female 
characters 
126. Weerfooi. Farce, in i Act. By F. C. Bur- 
naud, Esq. r. Male, 1 Female characters 

126. Twice Killed. Farce. By John Oxenford.— 
6 Male, 3 Female characters 

127. Peggy Green. Farce. By Charles Selby. — 
3 Male, 10 Female characters 

128. The Female Detective. Original Dramai 
in 3 Acts. By C. H. Hazlewood, 11 Male.4 

Female charaters 

. In lor o Holiday. Farce.inl Act. ByF. C. 
Burnand, E^q. 2 Mal^, 3 Female characters 

. My Wiie's Diary, Farce, in 1 Act. By T. 

W. Robertson, 3 Male, 1 Female characters 
. Go to Putney. Original Farce, in 1 Act. By 

Harry Lemon. 3 Male, 4 Female characters 

. A Itaee for a Dinner. Farce. By J. T. 

G. Rodwell. 10 Male characters 
. Timothy to the Rescfle. Original Farce, 

in 1 Act. By Henry J. Byron, Esq, 4 Male, 

2 Female characters 

. Tompkins the Troubadour. Farce, in 1 
Act. By Messrs. Lockroy and- Marc Michel. — 

3 Male, 2 Female characters 

i. Everybody's Friend. Original Comedy,in 

3 Acts. By J.Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male, 6 

Female characters 
'• The Woman In Red. Drama, in 3 Acts and 

a Prologue. By J. Stirling Coyne, Esq. 6 Male 

? jmale characters 



137. f Article 47 ; or. Breaking the Ban. Drama, 
in 3 Acts. By AdolpheBeJot. 11 Male, 5 Fe- 
male characters 

13S. Poll and Partner Joe ; or the Pride of Put- 
ney, and the Pressing Pirate. New and 'p-i- 
nal Nautical Burlesque. By F. C. Bumand. — 
7 Male, ^ Female characters 

139. Joy is l>angeron8. Comedy, in 2 Acta. By 

James Mortimer. 3 Male, 3 Feiii.i.c- characters 

140. Never Reckon yo-ir Chickens. Farce, ' n 

1 Act. By Wybert Reeve. 3 Male, 4 Femaie 
characters 

De Witt's EtUoBiaii anil 
Comic Drama. 

No. Price 15 Cents Each. 

1. The Last of the Mohicans. Ethiopian 
Sketch. By J. C. Stewart. ' 3 Male, 1 Feu.ale 

2. TrleliS. Ethioriau Sketch. Bv J. C.Stewart 
6 M,iie,2Fenialecli.rnct.-rs. 

3. Hemmed In. Ethiopian Sketch. 3 Male, 1 
Female clian.ci^rs. 

4. Eh? What is it? Ethiopian Sketch. By J. 
C.Stewa.t. 4 Male,! Female cliaracler.'^. 

5. The Two Black Roses. Ethiopian Sketch 

Bv J.C. .-Stewart. 4i\lai.',l Femnle rl.:irnrters. 

6. The Black Chap from Whitechnpel. 
An eccen»ric Negro piece. By 11. L. Williams 
Jr. 4 Male characters. 

De Witt's Elocntioiiary Series. 

Price 15 Cents Each. 

1, The Aeademie Speaker. Contfliningflnun 
usual variety o 1 ttriknij: diamalic diftl..<;t,es and 
other most effective pieyes with remarks on Elo- 

2, The Ilramatic Speaker. Composed of 
many very carefully <'liuseii JMonqlo^ui;*, Dialo- 
eues and other efl'ectiva scenes from the most 
famous Travel] ie?, Coniedit-s and Faroes. 

3, The Histrionic Speiikor. tlein- acarpl'ul 
compilation otthe most amusing Drai'intic scenes 
— lighl, gray, pointed, wifty and sp;^iklinij. 

4, The Thespian Speaker; heing the beat 
scenesfrom the best Plays teaching the young 
Forensic Student how to speak and aet in the 
most approved niannej • 

Works on Oratory, RecitatioD, 
anl Gliairfflaii's Duties. 

Price SO Cts. Each, Bound In Board. 
" 75 " Bound in Cloth. 

BE WITT'S PERFECT ORATOR.— 

Comprisinjr a greatiiujril>er oi'Ri-aiiiiij;<,l-.cc iln- 
tions, Dialogues and i laianpiu s ficm the most 
celebrated Tracerli.s.Pii.ins mid Sivt, lies.. 

WEBSTER'S RECITER; .or, FJoJu'ion 
Murte Easy . Plainly sliowiiiK the pripernttitiidca 
ofthe figure, the various c-xpre6si(.ns oflliclacc, 
andthe different inflectiousand modulations oi 
the voice. 

WEBSTER'S CIIAIRJIAN'S MAIVUAI. 
and Speakers' Guide ; sl)i>wii)p plainly and 
clearly how to preside over all kirn's, I'ublic, 
Private and Lodge meetings, duties of Officers, &c. 

FOOT-riGJIT FLASJIES. nvW\Davidge, 
Comedian. Price $1.5(', bound in Cloth, limo. 



